September 2009 to June 2014 - the time my son spent as an inmate of the Florida state prison system. Before that, it was 18 months in Duval County Jail. He had been in and out of trouble since early in his double digit age. The time where he should have been growing into young adulthood leading to his manhood and learning to become a productive member of society he was being labeled a menace to society instead.
Circa 2010
During his time in prison, the first year to be exact, two beautiful little girls were born, Daysha and Mijael. Although he was able to see them via prison visits he missed out on so many important events; that includes the births, feedings, diaper changes, teething, first words and steps. Watching them grow into their own little persons and develop their girly personalities ... the things that make parenting REAL! He knew he was a father but the reality of parenthood and all it entails were not a part of his every day life so it wasn't a big deal to him ... until he was released. At that point both girls were four and DEFINITELY had their own personalities.
Circa June 2014 - Release Day
These two little ladies are now seven and are a handful, even more so now than before and getting to know school age children as well as join the parenting arena is not as easy as one would think. It's almost like the children belong to others, those who were there when he wasn't and not him. Others have more say on things than he does as the father and it hurts. It is definitely a process but with time and consistency, it should get better. The great thing is he has been given a chance to do everything he missed before. Something brand new has happened, he has become a father again. On February 10th at 10:53 a.m. another baby girl was brought into this crazy world - Mikaela Chaniya.
This time he was here for the pregnancy as well as labor and delivery. YES HE SAW IT ALL! We all joked about how he would probably faint at the sight of childbirth but he proved us wrong! So wrong, in fact, he watched intensely as she was being pushed out and cut the cord when the time came.
I must admit, I definitely did not see that coming but neither did I expect all that followed afterwards. You see, Mikaela ended up in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) due to an obstruction in her stomach that prevented her from feeding properly. She was also said to have some irregularities with her heart that eventually went away. She was there for four days. Her mother had a rough pregnancy, labor and delivery and post-natal issues as well due to pre-eclampsia so they were separated briefly after birth. That was extremely difficult on mom and not much easier on dad. This was his first time getting the full experience and his baby is sick. I will say he didn't miss a beat though. I had just left the hospital when I received the call that she had the obstruction and had been taken to the NICU. This is what my son sent to my daughter and I.
That's his hand you see with the finger wrapped in his baby's tiny little fingers. You have to know this broke my heart! I was wishing I had not left the hospital so I could be there not only for my new grand-baby but my son and mom, who was going through it. I could only imagine how they were feeling as parents. I will say my son did not miss a beat when it came to being there. He'd be there in the morning, afternoon or late at night if he was not recording. (
GET HIS NEW MIXTAPE RICH BROKE - FUCK THE HELP Vol 2 - Ballin Like Marlon edition) Forgive my shameless plug but that's what a proud mom does ... now back to the story at hand. I enjoyed seeing the pictures of him in the NICU. I enjoyed the times I was there seeing him in action; feeding, burping, talking to her. It was the most beautiful thing in the world to me. These pictures are from three different visits.
It was amazing watching and talking to him through out this process. The incarceration during the other births did not slow him down one bit, he's been all in! During the NICU stay, the nurse knew him and talked everything over with him. She explained what the doctors said, what she noted and he understood and conveyed everything to me just as they told him. I knew he knew what they were talking about; I could tell he asked questions and I loved every minute of it. Since Mikaela has been released he has continued to spend as much time as he is allowed to my knowledge. He is enjoying being a part of this process and I am enjoying watching him. Yes he has other children, not that they are loved any less but this entire process was missed the first time around. There is nothing like being there for it all. These two are going to have a bond out of this world. Stay tuned folk, the best is yet to come! I see a great father in the making.
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