Protective Styling Gone Wrong

I am not new to this issue but the process to keep it from happening was fairly new. I am one of those unfortunate women who have horrible allergic reactions to braiding hair. It doesn't matter the brand, the outcome is the same. The day of installment is always exciting because I know how beautiful I will be (yes I am very convinced, NOT conceited but convinced) once my stylist, Niki, is done but the thought of the aftermath and ability to wear the styling for more than three days is always the biggest fear for she and I. So as a result of her skepticism, she installed crochet Senegalese Twist with individuals around my edges. It was so pretty, would you like to see?

I was more than excited about this protective style, it had been a very long time since I had one due to having a reaction twice previously. I was really feeling myself, as the picture reflects, and I was just praying that I could get past the first 12 hours without that itchy feeling I knew so well. I thought I had made it and was almost half a day in before that familiar feeling started and I began to panic. I didn't want this to happen again. I immediately called my daughter. She looked up reactions to braiding hair, as she had done previously, and sent me an article from Carols Daughter.

I did not realize how common this issue was and wish I had remembered that discussion from the prior styling about using apple cider vinegar (ACV). I had JUST paid $100 for this beautiful protective style so washing it out after less than a 24 hour installation was out of the question. The article said there's an alkaline base coat used on the synthetic hair which sometimes leads to the allergic reactions. I also learned the synthetic hair needs to be pre-treated using diluted ACV because this will remove the alkaline base which should prevent a reaction.

Ok, so now as I said above, I am $100 deeply invested into this beautiful protective styling and I was not going to take it out right away. WHY DID I NOT LOOK INTO THIS PRIOR TO INSTALLATION? I vaguely remember the ACV discussion from a previous reaction but right after that happened, I had gone back to my barber and had him cut it down to my low boy cut that I love.

I was happy in life so it slipped my mind to pre-treat but I was quickly reminded by the 12th or so hour after installation that it needed to be done. This is when the subtle itching begin, around my edges first then making its way to the back of my neck and slowly moving into the scalp area. By the 24th hour I was ready to take it out but my money though! Yes, that was a huge factor! My stylist (Niki of #NaturalWonder1) was already very apprehensive with the installation since this was not our first rodeo with this mess so when I called her she was so disappointed.

I went back to the article because it gave the story of a young lady who saved her style and money by simply spraying her Senegalese Twists with diluted ACV, letting it sit for 15 minutes, and rinsing the mixture as well as the harmful chemicals hopefully, from her hair. The article said she had great success with that process and didn’t have any allergic reactions afterwards. She was actually able to keep the twists for another five weeks!

You can imagine how excited I was to read that so I decided to do the same thing. I had all the hope in the world that it would be the same result for me and I could rock this style for at least the next 4-5 weeks. I didn't have a lot of ACV on hand so I used all I had, diluted in 8 ounces of water, sprayed the hair & my scalp and let it sit as it said. I rinsed it out with cool water and blow dried the hair. This worked for two days (now three days in on the style) before the subtle itching returned. I repeated those steps again but this time I took the bun down. I was most disappointed because I am not a fan of long, hanging hair but my friend Alisha, whose hair is also done by Niki of #NaturalWonder1, ended up making it cute for me.

Let me tell y'all, this dangling hair worked every nerve in my body. I am so not into hanging hair, for one it's itchy on my neck and two, it attracts the young men. When I say young I mean, 20's and early 30's. Is that a bad thing? HECK NO but I left Cougarville when I turned 40, I am almost 50. This is the work of the devil! BUT ANYWAYS MOVING ON ... (I am so ADHD) ... I had my stylist come back and do another style but not totally pinned up because I did not want to go through that ACV treatment again and take it down. She came through as she always does.

The sad part is, this lasted all of 24 hours before I had to take it down due to itching. I then, of course, did another ACV treatment. Are you starting to see the pattern here? I think THIS is what did the most damage. I kept using the ACV solution and washing THEN actually adding leave in conditioner on the synthetic hair. Did I doom myself? Possibly, but moving on. This hair came out after about two weeks. I couldn't keep on washing this hair, the individuals had begun to slide out in the front. I learned how to put them back in though, believe that! So on to the next style.

I let my teenie weenie afro (twa) show for about a week, giving my scalp time to breathe, treating my scalp with medicated hair dressings. I had to keep my hair moist so wearing my satin cap nightly was a must. This did not seem to do the trick for my scalp and affected areas because they would still dry out, get flaky, white and itchy ... MOST UNATTRACTIVE! So, knowing this was still an issue, I called Niki and told her I needed her to braid my hair down and I would use my "pony puff" and THAT'S WHAT WE DID!

Lord, this here style was like a milkshake as it brought all the CUBS to the yard! I felt like I was headed back to Cougarville because they were not backing off of this middle aged ThundaKat!

This lasted exactly five days because the itching and irritation severly worsened. There was no way to hide what was taking place in my head. No matter how many times I greased my scalp using the medicated natural hair ointments nothing work. On Tuesday, 3/22/17, I had to leave work early because I noticed nodules rising in my neck and the area was very warm to the touch. I saw the pockets under my eyes getting bigger. I have a small bag under my eyes already but I noticed them getting worse Monday. I felt sick to my stomach and could not totally function. One of my regular customers even asked if I were ok because he sensed I wasn't my usual perky self. He was right and this is what I was dealing with. I won't post the other pictures of my neck as I am embarrassed looking at them. I had scratched all but maybe two braids out in the back. I could tell I hadn't seen my friends because that would not have happened!

I came home and immediately took the braids out, washed in the medicated shampoo and oiled my scalp after applying the medicated ointment around my neck, ear area, edges and forehead. This was around 3 pm, after which time I laid down. By 9 pm, I felt worse. I noticed a strange feeling in my throat around 10 pm, it felt as if it were closing. I did not have any shortness of breath but there was definitely something going on as the nodules and inflammation on the back of my neck were increasing in size. My thought process was to call my doctor in the a.m. and get an emergency appointment but the closing in my throat would not wait. I immediately got up, got dressed and went to the ER.

Memorial's ER was PACKED TO CAPACITY! People were sitting everywhere! I prepared myself for a long night but that was not the case. I was taken back within 10 minutes of my arrival, that's how bad I was. I was given an injection of Benadryl, a painful steroid shot and Pepcid for what was going on inside. I was there all of an hour, in and out. They were concerned with that throat closing. My skin burned, especially my face area, but I survived with a cold compress. When I tell you all, I sent a picture to my adult children from the ER and they both said "THAT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE YOU MA"!! And they were right! My face transformed, morphed as a result of the reaction. It is crazy to me how bad it was because it was nowhere near this bad the two previous times. I truly believe my use of the ACV more than once and letting the hair stay in longer than I should have caused this. You want to see what I looked like?

From what you saw above to this ...

As you can see on the right, it is clearing up and GOD KNOWS I AM GLAD! I am not back to 100% but there is progress.

So, going forward, all synthetic braiding hair used on this head, must be pre-treated with a mixture of hot water and 1 ½ cups of ACV for approximately 15-20 minutes followed by a cool water rinse and air dry. I don't even know if I want to go through this again. This has been the worse case and I do truly believe it's because I used the ACV concoction more than once whichh allowed me to leave the twists in longer causing more damage. So is it my fault? Of course, I should have taken it down after the first treatment stopped working but ALL I could think about was that $100 I had spent going down the drain. It definitely wasn't worth the $150 dollars (ER copay and prescriptions), that's for sure! Hopefully someone will see this and take prior precautions, just in case, and not fall victim like I did to my money hungry/spending moment that caused an ER visit and an ugly outbreak!

Back to the way things were or nah?

A few days ago the graphic shown above came across the newsfeed of one of my social media pages and I decided to share. I'm single so no it's not anything I'm going through nor have I gone through because infidelity is an automatic breach of the relationship contract in my book so I am out the door before conversation can be had.

I have to admit, the graphic caption on the infidelity post made me think though. I know people who have remained with their cheating partners, some are still together to this day. There were all kinds of reasons given as to why they stayed but the top three were the children, the conveniences the relationship provided and love. LOVE ... a four letter word that comes and goes but a feeling that lasts forever when it's REAL. The graphic caption was a bit deeper than that though, it wasn't simply would you stay but instead could it go back to EXACTLY the way it was prior to the act of infidelity. On both of my Instagram pages as well as my Google+ the majority of the answers were NO ... not just no but hell no, nope, never and absolutely not.

When I posted this I truly expected to get ALL "NO" responses so that is where I will start; sharing small quotes from some of my friends that responded on the NO side:

"If you have a spot of skin on your body that gets cut, the cut will forever remain. It will heal and scar over but never be the same." -Stanley

"... remember the saying, if you cheat once, you will cheat again!" - Davi

"It'll never be the same ... any time something unusual pops up, may trigger that anger." - JQuinn

"I tried that and all I could think about was the fact that you actually cheated." - Kip

" Simply ... our egos won't allow it." - Derrick

"The founding building block of any relationship is trust. Cheating is the ultimate factor in loss of trust.The very nature of a person will not allow a person to forget being cheated on." - Ben

Now believe it or not, there were some men on the YES side! Yes, men ... this is what they had to say:

"Anything can be worked out with time and healing and when both of you have a made up mind." - Reggie

"I think that if you are concerned with the why's more than the what, you can absolutely overcome cheating." - Tango

Tango and Reggie both make very valid points; with a made up mind and focusing on why the cheating occurred a relationship or marriage can be fixed. There are reasons people cheat and to get to the root of that issue could bring that love back like it was before, maybe even stronger.

After reading Tango's detailed response I actually began to see it from another perspective. It made total sense and as he and Reggie said, if those involved truly want their relationship they will find a way to make it work.

But as for me and my house ... NOPE I personally don't see it happening. I am a faithful woman now (bless my younger years) and I try to do all I can to keep home happy. I won't say I haven't failed a time or two but communication is my thing and if there is unhappiness it will be known. Same should go for my mate, if he is unhappy with me just say so because one of two things can take place: we can either work it out or go our separate ways but cheating is a no-no! It is unacceptable to be a freak in the street then come home to me like nothing has happened.

Don't bring the essence of another woman in any shape, form or fashion back to me. If you want her PLEASE go be with her but don't attempt to keep me in the loop. I have never been one for sharing.

So what say you good folk? Would you be able to trudge through the fact that your partner cheated on you? Would you be able to forgive enough to work on the root of the issue? Could you get pass the feeling of being betrayed?

SO PLEASE COMMENT BELOW!!

Failing is NOT an option - Depression Rut

Total transparency Thursday ... the past 24 hours have been the WORST for me. I have felt myself heading to this break down, it was just a matter of time and a matter of the trigger. I suffer from depression and it has gotten worst over the past year. I smile and keep it moving on the outside but on the inside I slowly feel like I am dying. I have found myself withdrawing from those who have been close to me, have given me an ear and shoulder to cry on as well as provide encouragement. I feel like I am a burden to them so the phone calls and text lessen. When I am out, I do my best not to show this side of me, especially to those I am not close to or don't know, but it is what it is sometimes ... this is that some time.

Anyone who knows me KNOWS I pride myself in being a straight A student. It doesn't always happen and a B may slip in there but anything less than that is failing in my eyes. I set a standard that I have to adhere to or else I won't meet my goals. Well, yesterday, I had my second mid-term since I returned to school. There's usually a paper to write, something to research or some type of visual/audio production to complete so studying a chapters was not required, just know and understand what was read.

Dr. Rhodes gave us a

and it was completely based on the ten questions that would be on the mid-term. I skimmed over the reading, finding the points in the review and made sure I wrote down the pages where the key points could be found in each chapter. My memory is for shxt so I had to go over it again immediately after class Monday, again Tuesday night and again Wednesday before the exam and you know what?

For one hour and thirty minutes I attempted to complete ten, yes TEN, lil funky essay questions and ended up answering seven before time ran out. That is automatically a 70, right? On top of that, there will be points taken off for things I may have missed in the other seven answers. I just want you all to know I AM TRAUMATIZED ... like seriously! I cried yesterday and today THEN on top of getting my first failing grade, I weighed myself this morning to have the scale greet me back with a HELLO CHANEL, YOU ARE NOW 203 POUNDS. I have not been this heavy since 2012 when I was 210 lbs.

YES I know failing a midterm is not the end of the world. YES I KNOW gaining weight is not the end of the world either especially since I know what to do to get it off BUT unless you suffer from depression you don't understand the daily mental battles that go on in your head preventing you from completing normal everyday things, let alone school and fitness.

In my mind, I was like

This can't be happening to me but indeed it was ... IT IS! I've been told to get a grip, stop being extra and do something about it. True enough, that's what needs to be done but again I say, it is NOT that easy. Mental disorders are crippling and until I can get out of this funk it will be a difficult task.

I have started with some small steps

I had to "parent" myself and remove one of the most time consuming things out of my life. I also reviewed the syllabus to see where I can get myself ahead of the game with work and assignments. Will my ADHD allow me to continue that? Only GOD knows but we are going to give it our level best over here! Who is we? Queta and me, that's who!

As for the weight loss, I am going back to some of my pescatarian and vegan ways, adding at LEAST a 15 minute work out EVERY day with my girl Leslie Sansone! I have 20 lbs to get off and it must be done by June for my 47th birthday. Leslie has NEVER let me down!

I had to get a quick picker upper today, make a sister feel a LOT better so what'd I do?

I enhanced my grandmothers old breast cancer tattoo, she more than deserves a beautiful tribute, AND I had my teenie weenie afro braided! A new do not only makes you look good but it sure makes you feel better and PLEASE BELIEVE ...

Y'all pray for a sister, it's harder than people can imagine. Sometimes I feel I set my school standards too high but if you set mediocre goals you'll get mediocre results! As for the weight, this is for me and my health not for anything else. YES I know I look fine as is. YES I am beautiful just the way I am, no question and whatever else folk tend to throw in the arena when someone mentions weight gain but I need to get, remain and maintain a heart healthy lifestyle so I need to get this weight down!

I am going to claim it in advance ...

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