It was all a dream ... so what does it mean?

I was standing in YOUR kitchen at YOUR stove in YOUR place preparing YOUR meal. Nothing in this dream indicated if we were married, in a relationship or even together ... we just were. Playing softly in the background was the debut self titled album from the group Intro.

If you don't know, this here is one phenomenal album. 11 songs and all are listen worthy. Skipping a track isn't even a thought. Each track took me back to the days when music was music. When music was authentic. When music was pleasing to the ear and 1993 was a really good year for music. Tony! Toni! Toné! - Sons of Soul, Jodeci - Diary of a Mad Band, Babyface - For the Cool in You, R. Kelly - 12 Play, and one of my all time favorites Meshell Ndegeocello - Plantation Lullabies were all released in 1993 just to name a few. I was six songs into the album with no visitation to the kitchen which had the place smelling really good. What was I cooking? I have no clue but I do remember it was a pleasing aromatherapy. I was belting out the words to Intro's rendition of Stevie Wonder's RIBBON IN THE SKY when I felt a presence slowly creep up behind me but it was not until song #7 that I felt a pair of the softest hands on my skin.

As Kenny "G-Love" Greene began to softly speak the introduction to the song I felt your breath on my neck as you begin speaking them as well.

Hey baby Shh You don't have to say it, I know I know I haven't been there for you lately, I'm sorry It's not that I'm running out on you I wanna be into you You're all that I want You're all that I need So please Don't leave me.

Your hands slowly moved down my shoulders and my arms stopping around my waist. As that first beat dropped when Kenny finished his spill we swayed left to right to the smooth sound of DON'T LEAVE ME. His voice is so melodic as was yours. I was clueless that you could even sing but you sang every word, down to the adlibs. Halfway through the song you turned me around to face you and continued to sing as you looked into my eyes. You sang this song as though I had indicated I was leaving. You pulled me close to you and continued singing, caressing my face as you sang "baby don't leave me, you're all that I want, you're all that I need." I felt tears forming in my eyes. Your voice, your touch, everything about this moment was so emotion filled. The look in your eyes drew me closer and as the song drew to a close you took my hand and led me to YOUR room. That's when I woke up in MY bed. It felt so real but what topped it off is I don't remember you having a face, only eyes that revealed your soul. I saw what was in them. Every emotion, every feeling you had poured out of them but that is it.

I had just been speaking on how I don't remember any of my dreams these days and then this happens. One of my Facebook friends had posted a song from this album earlier in the evening and I started listening to it so this album being in my dream was not a surprise. Actually I am listening to it as I create this blog. I didn't get to sleep until about 5 a.m. and was awakened about 9:30ish so to have dreamed in that short amount of time has me perplexed especially since I had not been remembering any dreams.

I read this on one of these social sites. It actually crossed my feed a few times and now I wonder ... what's the message?

Turbulence on Tube 49 - Journey to 50

A few weeks back my dear sister friend LaTrice (Trice) invited me to join her and 2 other friends at the ICHETUCKNEE SPRINGS STATE PARK (ISSP) and I happily accepted. I have said I wanted to do different things, things out of my norm, on my #Journeyto50. THIS here lined right up with that want. You see, Trice and I talk pretty regularly and she knows in this last year of my 40's I have a few things I want to accomplish before turning 50. Do not be deceived, I had several questions prior to truly committing to this adventure. You see, everyone who knows me knows that I am not a 'nature' person so I was slightly traumatized before I even got in the car! Why?

I can not swim, (singing) NEVER LEARNED TO SWIM, CAN'T CATCH THE RHYTHM OF THE STROKE so I had to know if a life jacket would be needed. Oh and let's not forget water shoes. Needless to say, I put on my big girl panties and took on this adventure with no life jacket or water shoes but I now KNOW, the shoes are a must IF I were to do this again. The feeling of that slimy moss under my bare feet and slipping on those rocks was not the way. And the life jacket? I am still on the fence with that one. So we arrive to the area where you had to grab tubes, yes tubes. We were going to be tubing, floating down the spring. I don't even float in a pool y'all! Yes, I am one of those people who fit in that "black people don't swim" category but in my case it's swim NOR float! Let me paint the picture for you real quick.

Yep, that's my type of pool party!! So, now that you overstand where my anxiety was coming from lets move on. Initially, this was supposed to be a 3 hour float but I, to this day, believe the Most High was looking out for your girl. I do NOT think, NO, I KNOW I would not have made it that entire time and nor would Trice. As her tube partner I was THE WORST and I own that! We ended up doing a 45 minute float and that was just enough because, listen, I did not even think about wildlife. Y'all, when we arrived to the spring entry with our tubes I saw a sign that mentioned alligators.

This is not the exact sign as I left my phone in the car so NO pictures were taken by me but this is similar to what it said. I did a 180, you hear me? I have no idea why I did not think about this, like why wouldn't they be there? IT IS NATURE AFTER ALL!! (face palm) Trice quickly turned me right back around and we marched to the spring entrance. Lord have mercy, if only we had video of the "tube loading"! I already felt like I was drowning and the water was only to my waistline. I was a WATER DRAMA QUEEN! All kinds of yelling and foolishness going on. I have to apologize and say thank you to these three ladies because pushing off was a mess but Trice was victimized with my shenanigans the most.

She did provide great pep talks as she laughed at my pain. You would have to see the videos on our IG (Fairgame_podcast) and FB (Fair Game with Chanel & LaTrice) pages. Make sure you follow us as well. We are on a strategical planning hiatus BUT we will be back, bigger and better with a bit of fitness in tow. These are the faces of the FairGame Queens, Chanel and LaTrice.

Now lets get to the meat and potatoes of this adventure. Did I mention our tubes were initially tied together? We 4 were going to float down this spring as a unit but it did NOT work out that way. When we finally started nothing seemed to go right. The spring had us floating backwards, we all kicked and rowed which produced no real results so not even 10 minutes in we had to cut the cord. This, my friends, is where the real shenanigans begin. I swear I owe Trice all kinds of apologies because I was the WORST tube partner for real.

I was looking for all kinds of water predators, sitting in indian style, one arm rowing and feet kicking for dear life to get away from the approaching banks and tree limbs sticking out all over the place. They were going to puncture our tubes, I was going to sink and drown or be eaten by alligators ... these were my thoughts. Trice says "just let it flow with the current friend" but that current was sending us to danger ... DANGER (in Mystikal voice)!!! Oh my word, we were only about 20 minutes in if that and life was just OVER in my mind. Why was everyone else floating straight down the river, no problems. They were just laughing and smiling, even when we floated right into them. We had several tube collisions but for the most part the other tubers were friendly. Want to see how I was through most of the tubing? Here ya go ...

Arms folded, head on a swivel for alligators, snapping turtles and snakes, yes them too! What if a water moccasin came slithering by and struck me? Or, or, or (yes the dramatic stutter) a snapping turtle nipped at my feet. HELP ME NOW! I am traumatizing myself again as I type. I COULD HAVE DIED Y'ALL! Whew child ... anywho ... this was me but to see it in action you must go to our IG page (Fairgame_podcast). I look at the video and immediately get embarrassed. My daughter said "mommy I felt so bad for you, you were struggling so much" YET she laughed at me! I tell you. If anyone had asked me earlier that day what I was doing THIS would not have been my answer had I thought this through. None of you BETTER not ask me that question either? Which one? Oh y'all know ...

I will tell you this, in my mind I DIED! I died SEVERAL times too! Now, moving forward ... this is basically how the entire 45 minute float down the spring went. Guess what? Near the end the sky changed and a storm started brewing. Oh the Most High was getting all kinds of conversation from my side of the tube. I was not prepared to be drowned from above and below. All I heard at that moment was Jada Pinkett Smith saying "LORD TAKE ME NOW!"

Y'all do NOT overstand my struggle. I CAN NOT SWIM!! Whew child, I have to get my mind right all over again. When we get to the end it starts to sprinkle. I am so thankful for nice people. There was a lady standing on the steps where we were to dismount our tubes, she saw my struggle, she heard my cry and she answered. Trice was too busy laughing at me. This is us at the end of our float. The smile on my face is like a victory lap! I MADE IT! I MADE IT Y'ALL!! IT WAS OVER!! (quick praise break)

Now you may ask, will I do it again? (deep heavy sigh) YES, YES I WILL but I will be more prepared! Scar meant what he said when he said it! Proper preparation prevents a poor performance and my performance will not be the same the next time. I am 10 months away from 50 and I have zip lining and parasailing to tackle. Why do I want to play in water and I can't swim. I swear I question myself so much y'all but you only die once and have but this life to live SO LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST!! Stay tuned for the next adventure on my Journey to 50.

Grid Iron Firearm Training, LLC - G.I.F.T.

Kareem and I are the business minds behind G.I.F.T. - Grid Iron Firearm Training, LLC. G.I.F.T.’s mission is to educate the community about 2nd Amendment rights and firearm use. It is one thing to train but it is another thing entirely to educate and have the ability to certify them to obtain their conceal carry license/permit (CCW). This requires special training and having seen the large influx of request for conceal carry classes in the community, Kareem and I decided to take it to the next level and became NRA Certified Instructors

Check out our business page to obtain the list of services G.I.F.T. offers. After taking our conceal carry class and getting your CCW, it does not end there.

You must train and study to stay on top of the ever changing laws in your state. You must know the parts of your firearm and be prepared when/if the time comes to use it. If you have children in the home, we can educate them on firearm safety as well in our Child Firearm Course (CFC). This course is FREE to children ages 5 to 12.

These are a few services G.I.F.T. can assist. Grid Iron Firearm Training not only certifies for conceal carry permits/licenses, upon successfully completing in-class and on-range instruction<, we also provide family training for you and your family. We look forward to taking you all to the next level in firearm safety and training. We know the K.E.Y. to firearm safety and training. Allow us to pass that on to you and yours.

My Influencer

In my 49 years of life I have seen and done a lot of things, some good and some not so good. It wasn't until I became a mother that a lot of those things changed because I no longer had myself to look out for but 2 little ones that would watch and emulate my every move. As a parent we hope we are raising them the right way so that later in their adult life they are productive members of society. They don't always go the route that we want them to go but it was never our choice to make, only to mold them, influence them to be the best they can be. Most of us never think about how one day, they would turn around and do the same for us.

Actually her name is Deondrea or DeeDee as most of us call her. I remember at an early age how she influenced me. She was my flower power child. She loved everyone no matter there race, gender or religion. I watched her in awe for years because I had NO IDEA where she came from. She loved genuinely which a lot of us, by my age, had stopped doing. She was my little reminder and I thanked the Most High for her. This was my 16 year old DeeDee I think. My memory is garbage but it was somewhere along those lines.

Moving forward to 2010 when she began to influence me on another level. This is when she returned to her natural roots and shaved all of her hair off. I remember like it was yesterday. We both had hair appointments and were still members of team creamy crack. Lencola, our stylist at that time, started my head first. She was aware of what DeeDee wanted and put me under the dryer in another room while she gave my daughter the BIG CHOP!! She was creating the newest member of team natural and I had no clue. When I walked into the front service area I was STUNNED and SHOCKED to say the least. I couldn't believe she had cut all of her hair off. I had so many questions and I think I was a bit negative towards it as well. I apologize DeeDee, I didn't know any better. After so many years of being team creamy crack it was hard to believe that she had gone and shaved her head BUT this is where she became my influencer into the natural side. I watched her journey, the good and bad of it and something in me said I needed to support her and do better myself. In a little over a years time I too had my first big chop (one of many). I wonder what took me so long to join team natural but better late than never. The weekend that I returned to my natural roots we had our "It's Natural" photo shoot and shortly after DeeDee moved back to Virginia. This was the best send off. We have so many natural memories.

Look at my influencer and the growth in her hair. This growth is from a little over one years time! This was my goal. I wanted this beautifully created head of natural hair too but it didn't work out that way for me. I was too scissor/clipper happy but nonetheless I became a part of a team I have yet to leave and never will. Why won't I ever leave? Well, I've decided to loc. YEP I am going to join locnation with my daughter. She has given mom a new look at being a part of team natural. It's funny because anyone who knows me knows I love being bald headed, the shorter the better for me especially residing in Fl. It's way to hot for hair BUT watching her loc journey has been fascinating and I want to join. She started this journey in 2016 with a head full of hair and now it falls midway down her back. Isn't she lovely??

How can she follow up with influencing me from this?!?! Well, let me tell you. The next BIG influence came around 2015 or so. She began talking about the pescatarian lifestyle. For those who don't know, a pescatarian is a person who does not eat meat but does eat fish. I had began a healthier lifestyle venture in 2012 (see health blog for that story) and a few health scares of my own caused me to look into living a meatless life. I did not eat pork or red meat but poultry was my vice, especially chicken. Most people turn to sweets for comfort but chicken was my comfort food. After a few discussions I decided to join her in this venture. I also cut out dairy so it had become an expensive lifestyle to say the least. Organic fruits and veggies, no diary so nut milk replacements and seafood. Needless to say this life eventually became a vegan lifestyle for me. I couldn't influence her to join me though. (light chuckle) I thank her so much for this one nonetheless. She helped her mother become a better person and possibly live longer. SIDE BAR: sadly I've fallen off of the vegan bandwagon but I still eat well, healthy.

So on top of 2 of the biggest changes I have made, leaving team creamy crack/joining the life of a LOCstar and healthier eating, my daughter is also an influencer when it comes to my true passion. She will be a huge part of what I do with my communications degree. I have done radio, created podcast, been on other podcasts, hosted/emceed events and of course blog. I have a group called Mothers of an Incarcerated Son (MOIS) of which there are blog entries as well. I have wanted to do so much more for the group but was unsure what direction to take. Recently my daughter introduced me to a podcast called Ear Hustle, a non-fiction podcast about prison life produced at San Quentin State Prison by inmates. This podcast has provided the jump start I needed to get my creative juices for MOIS flowing. I now know what I want to do with it. I have listened to every episode of Ear Hustle and enjoyed them immensely. Thanks to my influencer for all she has done. My girl is the best! Mom loves you more than life.

Y'all be on the look out for the MOIS blogs that are coming soon. Families of PRISONERS are the forgotten victims and my plan is to help you remember.

Keep REAL ones around! #OnGod

It's taken me a week to write this blog because I was not sure of the angle I wanted to take. You know, if I wanted to place 3 of my fitness family members, Leroy, Wilchelle & Jamie, on the highest pedestal and sing all of their holy praises or simply tell the story. To be honest, there is no angle JUST the truth of it all. They may still end up on that pedestal ... actually my entire fitness family. Overstand, it's a true blessing when you are surrounded by people who truly care and have your BEST interest at heart. This describes the entire Justice League Of Fitness (JLOF) and I have one piece of advise to everyone reading this ... Keep REAL ones around. #OnGod

Last week we attended SCW Mania in Atlanta, please believe the JLOF showed up and showed out. Beginning early Friday a.m. through Sunday afternoon we were all scheduled for some of the most intense workout sessions and lectures. Day 1, for me, was ALL dancing with one nutritional session which was totally awesome. For those that know me, you know dancing is life so I was in heaven. My first class was Zumba with Erick Santana. When I tell you he gave us the business - HE GAVE US THE BUSINESS!! I have never been so enthused about Zumba in my life as I was after that session.

Afterwards, I had 2 sessions of Country Fusion line dancing, one was a workshop. This was right up my alley. Elizabeth Mooney is a great instructor. She made the session so much fun that I brought back 4 dances from her sessions to my own class. The ladies shown in the picture below are Wilchelle and Jamie (my trip roomie). I was mad as all hell with them on Day 2 but in the end I realized what they did was all done out of love.

(SIDEBAR) During this class I had one of the greatest moments of the entire weekend. One of the attendees asked me if I had a YouTube channel, when I responded yes she advised she recognized me. She told me she enjoys the way I teach. I helped several participants with the dances in class and was shown a lot of love over the entire weekend as a result. I love what I do and it shows when I dance. I thank Ms. Lorraine for letting me know that I need to continue doing what I do, no matter how discouraged I may get sometimes.

Day 2 started off really well but took a turn for the worse about 30 minutes in. Our first class was Reb3l, a high intensity dance style of fitness taught in a club like environment. The ambiance was just right for dance fitness. Oh, let me step back for a moment. I have neglected to mention a very important factor ... I have an AHLM (anterior horn of the lateral meniscus) moderate macerated tear in my left knee. I was unsure if I should have come but I knew I could modify my workouts to assure that I did not put too much stress on my knee. Well, I was doing well in Reb3l until they played one of my favorite songs. I had not heard Keri Hilson's 'Get Your Money Up' in years. The beat dropped and I LOST IT! All modifications went out the door and I went in. If you have bad knees then you overstand the pain of dancing on carpet without shoe socks/covers. Pivoting of any kind can cause a lot of pain. There was this move that required an in and out leg motion and it happened to occur on my favorite part of the song so y'all KNOW what that means. I WENT IN!! I was able to get a good one and a half in/out motion before I felt a pop. Tears begin to immediately fall from my face but I was sweating as well so I felt I could play it off. Wilchelle was in my face so fast, it was almost comical. She asked if I was crying. Initially I told her no but eventually I answered I was crying and sweating. I continued to dance against my fit fam's advice. Wilchelle eventually snitched on me to Jamie who told her to call Leroy, the head honcho. Long story short, I was pulled out of class and sat down for the remainder of day 2. I was NOT happy at all. I was so mad at the 3 of them for most of day 2 but as mad as I was, I began to realize this was for the best. Leroy proceeded to ice the knee and take care of it from a worst case scenario perspective. I was confined to my room. Let me show you what happened as a result of that POP in class.

What an entire mess this was! Could barely put weight on it and all I could think about was how mad I was that I was made to sit out. Want to know the icing on the cake? One of the classes I was supposed to take that day was right below the bathroom window of my room. I could see Jamie, Wilchelle and Sharon getting down in POUND class. I cried like a big ole baby. I wanted to dance and workout. It was so unfair to me is all I kept thinking THEN it hit me ... I could have made my condition worst. My fit fam did what they felt was necessary because I wouldn't. They made me sit down and be still when they knew I had no plan to stop. It is an awesome feeling to know others care about you more than you do yourself. I had planned to do all of my classes on that popped knee. I am glad their plans were different. I had to see the orthopedic specialist the day after we arrived home. I showed him the picture of my knee and he was blown away. He thought I had really done some damage to my knee due to the increased swelling. I gave him the long version of what happened and he told me the immediate care given after feeling the pop was possibly the saving grace for my knee. This was my visit ... over 40 cc's of fluid was drawn from my knee.

So to the 3 JLOF members who I was SO angry at ... THANK YOU! I love you all with my whole heart. It takes genuine care to "snitch" and make sure your fellow fit fam member is ok. To the rest of the fam (Sharon, Monica, T-Hi, Mr. Taylor, Roger and Walter) thank you also. You checked on me, fussed at me when I was out of line, and just made sure I was alright after you were made aware of my issue. I am proud to say I am a part of this organization.