TRUST the timing! Timing is EVERYTHING!!

There is NOTHING worse than an emotional crisis when you are single! Ladies, I know you will be able to relate AND some men (those who will own up to it anyways). So here we go ... you are single and have been for quite a while. You are not the happiest you could be about that status but you deal, no biggie because life goes on and you get by. You enjoy an occasional date here and there. A few text messages that turn to phone calls and you are content with that right now because truth be told you are STILL working on you, ya know? But what happens next? HE appears (or SHE for my fellas)!

IN WENDY WILLIAMS VOICE

Everything is damn near perfect from jump street (that should have been THE clue). The energy released between the two of you has created feelings that has you thinking this could be your soulmate. These are vibrations like nothing you have ever experienced or felt before. It is one of those situations where it is going so well, TOO WELL, that you want to run away, far far away and not look back. Every ounce of your being says head for the hills but that heart of yours says NO ... STAY!! Word of advice ...

So what do you do? YOU FOLLOW THE DAMN HEART!!

You will listen to the above advice the next time ... I hope!!

Anyway, before you know it you are WIDE THE FXCK OPEN!! Lets add the fact that his actions match yours, step for step, topped off with his actions backing up his words as well. There was none of that "what you think I want to hear" conversation, none of the "typical male jargon" ... not at all!

Nope, that was NOT him at all so sister girls you are falling deeper and deeper at this point. No matter how hard you pump your brakes or attempt to sashay away in those 4-5 inch heels this thing is happening. Are you afraid? Apprehensive? HELL YES but you are also excited as hell and it isn't long before the two of you are referencing and singing that good old Deborah Cox song!

This is so unreal! From common interests, astrological signs that say you are a perfect match (you both believe in what the stars have to say), spontaneous conversations that both can follow and chime in without missing a beat, both believe in alien existence to include your own part in it and both MELANIN ARROGANT & PROUD!

How did you allow yourself to be opened up so wide after only NINE days is what you ask yourself. Keep in mind, there has been no sexual activity, just an occasional kiss and hug when time permitted you to see one another which isn't too often. There has, however, been plenty of intimate moments via conversation and that's what placed you in the predicament you are in ... that damn conversation! No, they were not sexual in nature but enlightening and there is nothing sexier than a man with vocabulary who knows how to use it. The man is college educated and has substance! He is in tune with who he is, who his people are and wants to do something to propel his community positively from its current state. It is so refreshing to meet a man of this caliber living in a day and age where so many men are still in the dark on how to approach a real woman ... but THIS man, HE NAILED IT!

So why is timing everything? Well, remember how every move made seemed methodically planned and thought out up to the moment your inner, deeper voice started speaking? On more than one occasion in those 9 days, that deeper consciousness told you to "chill out" and "calm down" but because there was an overwhelmingly unusual and new vibration in your presence you ignored that warning. There were moments and comments made that you questioned in your mind ... why didn't you express them aloud young lady? Now, everything your internal warning system (discernment) attempted to shield you from you are feeling. Why didn't you leave it on the phone until after he took care of the things that has him traveling out of the area? Now, that communication that was extremely heavy has come almost to a complete halt and here you are questioning yourself about the choices you were making regarding this man. You've now extracted your emotions because this is what you've learned to do over the years of being single. Are you mad? Yes but at yourself for not being a better judge and listener of self. There could be a lot of reasons communication has come to an almost dead halt but without his explanation you'll never know. Everything in you wants to call or text what you're feeling but HERE AGAIN ...

This man is where he is, doing what he is doing and of that you are not a part. Learn how to NOT insert yourself where you have not been welcomed no matter how hard it is! Be accountable for your part in this and deal with it. Upon his return, if it is to be, have that conversation but until that time continue to do you and what you were doing before he WALTZED HIS FINE, EDUCATED ASS INTO YOUR LIFE! We love hastily moving into things, at some point the lesson learned will be taken into all areas so that this doesn't have to happen again but until then my sisters (and brothers who may relate) ...

To Tell or Not To Tell

Here's the situation ... you are out on a date and you see your friends mate out with another member of the opposite sex. You speak to assure the mate and date sees you so that there is NO confusion as to rather it was them you saw or not. Do you tell your friend or keep it to yourself?

I have been in this predicament and I will tell you, after that situation I would keep it to myself.

How about YES they are still together 18 plus years later but I feel she and I are not close anymore as a result of this. Of course he denied it was him so there I was looking like a fool when she chose to stay.

I felt like I ruined a great friendship looking out for my friends feelings and ended up getting mine hurt in the process. So from here on out I will be selfish and keep my feelings from being hurt, salvaging my friendship and let him/her know if you see my mate out PLEASE tell me because I will act on it! Now, again I ask ...

Better Choices

During Spring break in March, I attended a college tour in the Carolina's with the 100 Black Men of Jacksonville and Teen Leaders of America. On this 3 day 2 night tour approximately 45 young men and women visited four college campuses: Benedict College (SC), North Carolina A&T University (NC), UNC Charlotte (NC) and Johnson C. Smith University (NC). The tour ended with a trip to a NBA game, Hornets vs. Cavaliers ... the youth were elated!

Attending this tour and watching those young men and women who were serious about furthering their education beyond high school was truly a treat. It was also a wake up call on some of the great things I missed out in life. I wasted the last 4 years of high school, the most important years, being fast. I did enough to graduate, with an advanced studies diploma I will add, but put no thought into life beyond that. I have always wanted a Communications career, working in radio or television but that's as far as I went with it ... a want. We had a Vo-Tech program at my high school were broadcasting was taught, I did not take advantage of this program so I wasted my gifts, my talents very early. On top of that, I was a mother exactly nine months after I graduated high school so attending a 4 year college was not on my radar. It was available but I chose to attend a vocational college instead, get a skill under my belt that I could use immediately so that I could take care of my son. **the good ole 80's**

Back to the college tour, walking the campuses and watching/listening to the tour guides made me sad. Why? Because I missed the chance to attend a college or university during a time when I was able to be molded into something greater. The chance to make life long friends from other places. The possibilities of where I could be now in life, in my career instead of almost 50 years of age and still working towards my career of choice. The tour guides were so AWESOME! I could definitely see myself taking on that role for my school at that age and being a part of so many organizations all while building my own personal brand. At my age now, I am too tired to get involved with any extra-curricular activities or organizations. I am simply ready to get school done and over with so I can move on to the next venture in my life.

At the time of this tour I felt like I was wasting my time with the degree I am working towards. It's hard to get into this field at my age, especially if it's a broadcast related career that you have an interest. The tour was a lot to take in all at once and I left there feeling defeated when it was over. I am glad to say I do not feel that way today.

Public Relations can be used in several areas to include corporate America as well as private P.R. and Marketing agencies if I want to work for myself. I have been blessed to have an opportunity to work with a firm during the Summer since I do not attend school during this time and I am looking forward to putting what I have learned thus far to work! I don't have too much time left before I am done with this chapter of my life and of that I am excited. This blog was created for TWO reasons:

1) to encourage the youth to attend college right out of high school if that is what they want to do, don't let anything stop you if you can help it and

2) for those who are in the same boat as me, do not let age or time passed stop you from pursuing your dreams of completing school! It's never too late!