Happy Tears - Mother of an Incarcerated Son

There are ALL kinds of tears but the ones I love to experience are those of joy, HAPPY TEARS! I received a letter from Dante' today and I have to say I love his maturity level. He has come a LONG way and I pray daily this he sticks to this frame of mind when he is released. If he does I can see great things out of him and for him.

Even as he sits in solitary with nothing but a cot and a toilet and anything he was allowed to bring from his cell he STILL has an up beat attitude. I remember when he first began his sentence he was always so angry and spoke like the world owed him something. I enjoyed his letters to a degree back then but enjoy them all the more now that he speaks so positively. He's had such a negative spirit for so many years it's almost hard to believe this is my son but I know ALL things can be done through Christ. It's being done!

Back in the day I use to want Dante' to hang out with his sister and I all the time. He didn't want to go to the mall just to window shop, ride through the city just to get out of the house or go to a Jaguars game to get that NFL experience. My daughter was and still remains my ride or die but it looks like we may have a new tag along!

He has expressed how it's going to be movie time for MONTHS when he gets out. There are so many movies he wants to see and can think of no one better to watch them with then 'Velnette' herself. *laughs* That's my middle name, he's such a funny dude. He has requested cheese pizza with stuffed crust, cheesy bread and NO SODA! He requested that I not be drinking them either (I don't)!! He said whenever he thinks about chillin with me he gets to feeling like a kid again! His first day home, he wants Golden Corral and an Ex Lax! That truly cracked me up; put it in and push it out!

He then went into the how am I, how's mom outside of his affairs. He knows that he and his situation are time consuming but he wants to make sure I am enjoying my life in my down time. He was never this considerate and this shows growth. I am so happy right now to see how the Father is working on his behalf and in his life.

He has a 2nd mother, Lisa, that he mentioned. I am so appreciative of this here woman. When he needed that motherly advice that he felt he couldn't get from me, things he wanted to share that he felt he couldn't share with me she was his outlet. Some mothers would be mad but I am forever grateful, just as he is, for Lisa because I'd rather him have her in his corner than him to get what he felt he needed totally from the streets. He called Lisa an ANGEL and mentioned that she's been there since day 1 like they dated instead of he and her daughter. This does my heart well to know he has another mother in his corner. Thank you Lisa.

He than preceded to talk about how his father and I are getting up in age and when he gets out he wants to take advantage of the time missed. It's been a long journey getting those 2 together and I am so thankful that they've been able to talk and work things out. I can't wait to see them have a relationship, all sons need their father no matter their age.

I could go on and on with this letter but I won't, just know that right now the HOLIDAY BLUES have been over come with HAPPY TEARS ... our time is drawing nigh and I CAN NOT WAIT! 2014 truly has something for me, for us! All of these troubles began in 2007, it'll be 7 years next year ... the year of completion! It's all almost over! It's been an awfully long journey but as the light gets closer I am thankful because it has all made me stronger in self and stronger in FAITH!

Holiday Blues - Mother of an Incarcerated Son

I want to start by saying HAPPY HOLIDAYS to any and all who read my blog. I observe Christmas but in light of the diversity on the world wide web I strive not to offend anyone.

By now you know I'm the mother of an incarcerated son named Dante'. He is housed in a correctional institution in the upstanding JUST-US system of the great state of Florida (said with ALL the sarcasm I could muster). No, as I've said numerous times before, I am not disputing that my son should be there but those of you news watchers and readers know ALL to well why I mock this wonderful system in place here in the sunny state.

Dante's release date as of today is 07/08/14 but can be earlier with any gain time accrued. I can not truly contain my joy in knowing this'll soon be over nor can I hide the fear of what is yet to come for my son, the African American felon. These thoughts have marinated in my mind for about 2 months now and it has made this holiday season even harder to enjoy.

Days leading up to the holiday season were really tough for me, not only do I have an empty nest and an incarcerated son I am also single ... talk about a PROZAC moment!! No, I'm just kidding but it can be really stressful and almost depressing watching those you love and are surrounded by enjoy the hustle and bustle of the holiday season with loved ones and not be able to enjoy it that way. It's been the same every year since 2009 so I move on and get over it but it doesn't stop it from being a major thorn in my side or pain in my chest.

Dante' has been in solitary confinement since the week of Thanksgiving. It seems he has been in confinement for the past 2 seasons because our last holiday pictures together was in 2011. You'd think that since my son has been in and out of trouble for a while and in prison since 2009 I'd be over it but I'm not. I sometimes wish it were that easy but its so far from it and most will never understand unless you've been in these shoes.

I have a daughter, Deondrea, who returned home in 2010. I've not spent a holiday with her since 2009 and that just puts the icing on the cake of my Holiday Blues. Its funny how as parents when our children were younger we wish them out of the house but when it's time for the EMPTY NEST it is NO FUN!

I am extremely grateful for my 2 grand-daughters the Heavenly Father allowed Dante' to produce. It has been an absolute joy watching them grow which has also made this 66 month sentence fly by. Miss Daysha Michelle and Miss Mi'Jael Chaylea have been 2 of the best gifts I could ever be given. Spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the 2 of them lifted my Holiday Blues for a little while but as always it comes right back. Looking at my grand-daughters knowing they are an extension of my son, seeing characteristics and mannerisms in them is a tear jerker for me. They are my little angels and I wouldn't trade my Vann girls for nothing in the world!

God willing, this will be the last holiday without my children, my family and the Holiday Blues will prayerfully cease to exist.