I am the mother of two adult children, as most of you know. I have a son, Dante', who is the oldest and a daughter, Deondrea. I could not have been blessed with a better set of children, one of each. I have had the joy of dealing with the best of both worlds, if there is such a thing. I have dealt with the best and worst to be honest and if I could trade some of it I do believe I would. My son resides here in Jacksonville with me so when he decides to pop in I see him, otherwise I have to text him or check social media to make sure he is okay. I pray for the day that we have a better relationship. My daughter, on the other hand, moved back to our hometown of Hampton Roads, Virginia in 2011. I do not see her often, as a matter of fact, the last time she visited was May 2015 with her boyfriend and best friend for my oldest granddaughter, Daysha, kindergarten graduation.
Well, that "last time" changed right after this Christmas because my big baby drove down to bring the new year in with her mom and the rest of her Florida family.
Her arrival to my job on Thursday and the five days that followed were just what I needed to cure the holiday blues of which I had been dealing. We spent time with my granddaughters, her nieces, enjoying the movie
SING which was awesome and the lighting of the boats/boat parade downtown behind the Landing. The girls had not seen their aunt since May 2015 so they were excited to spend time with her as well.
I can admit I wanted her all to myself during her visit but I knew I had to share. She completed some of her middle and high school education in Jacksonville when she lived here so that meant she had friends that wanted to see her as well. That is when my selfishness kicked in to high gear as well as my sadness. It apparently had gotten so bad she felt the need to create a Facebook post making reference to her being my adult child and I needed to treat her as such. (heavy sigh) Of course, on came more sadness. I didn't think I was treating her like a child but I guess in my missing her, missing the interaction with both of my children to be honest, I indeed was doing just that. My son has made it known that he feels this way also and it has never been my intention to treat them that way. Empty nesting isn't as easy as I had made myself believe obviously. I was glad the three of us were able to spend a little time together before she left, though brief, it was a moment I won't be forgetting any time soon.
That was the night before she traveled back to Virginia. When she left, my goodness, I felt extremely empty. It was like a piece of me went away with her today as she prepared to pull off. This is the time I truly wished my son and I were closer. I couldn't stop crying until I heard her voice again. When she called she was ten miles outside of South Carolina. It was then she told me that she had looked for me before she pulled off but I had already gone inside. She sounded hurt. I immediately apologized because I knew I had walked inside and did not look back. I did not want to see her pull off and now I feel like a really horrible parent for doing so. Some thing in me wouldn't, couldn't take it. You see, I suffer from depression and sad occurrences can create set backs for me, this was one of them. Although departing was sweet sorrow, I looked for ways to smile again. I found happiness mixed with sadness while looking over the pictures taken during her time here. The time spent with my legacy which includes my son and grandchildren, sharing my love of guns with her and being able to talk with her for most of her drive back to VA was all priceless. Finding happiness in moments when all I see is sadness has always been a problem for me so my goal for 2017 is not to concentrate on what’s wrong but instead find the things that are right and celebrate them. It won't be easy but it shall be done.
Well, that "last time" changed right after this Christmas because my big baby drove down to bring the new year in with her mom and the rest of her Florida family.
Her arrival to my job on Thursday and the five days that followed were just what I needed to cure the holiday blues of which I had been dealing. We spent time with my granddaughters, her nieces, enjoying the movie SING which was awesome and the lighting of the boats/boat parade downtown behind the Landing. The girls had not seen their aunt since May 2015 so they were excited to spend time with her as well.
I can admit I wanted her all to myself during her visit but I knew I had to share. She completed some of her middle and high school education in Jacksonville when she lived here so that meant she had friends that wanted to see her as well. That is when my selfishness kicked in to high gear as well as my sadness. It apparently had gotten so bad she felt the need to create a Facebook post making reference to her being my adult child and I needed to treat her as such. (heavy sigh) Of course, on came more sadness. I didn't think I was treating her like a child but I guess in my missing her, missing the interaction with both of my children to be honest, I indeed was doing just that. My son has made it known that he feels this way also and it has never been my intention to treat them that way. Empty nesting isn't as easy as I had made myself believe obviously. I was glad the three of us were able to spend a little time together before she left, though brief, it was a moment I won't be forgetting any time soon.
That was the night before she traveled back to Virginia. When she left, my goodness, I felt extremely empty. It was like a piece of me went away with her today as she prepared to pull off. This is the time I truly wished my son and I were closer. I couldn't stop crying until I heard her voice again. When she called she was ten miles outside of South Carolina. It was then she told me that she had looked for me before she pulled off but I had already gone inside. She sounded hurt. I immediately apologized because I knew I had walked inside and did not look back. I did not want to see her pull off and now I feel like a really horrible parent for doing so. Some thing in me wouldn't, couldn't take it. You see, I suffer from depression and sad occurrences can create set backs for me, this was one of them. Although departing was sweet sorrow, I looked for ways to smile again. I found happiness mixed with sadness while looking over the pictures taken during her time here. The time spent with my legacy which includes my son and grandchildren, sharing my love of guns with her and being able to talk with her for most of her drive back to VA was all priceless. Finding happiness in moments when all I see is sadness has always been a problem for me so my goal for 2017 is not to concentrate on what’s wrong but instead find the things that are right and celebrate them. It won't be easy but it shall be done.
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