What have we started?

What have we started? Don't quite know how to feel.
Is this something temporary or are these feelings real?
Could this be a quick fix to a long time misery?
Or plannings of your next move towards life ever happily?

I'm trying hard with each day I wake to drag my mind elsewhere
I do that every moment but it's hard, so hard I swear
The thought of taking what we had and making something else
Has me constantly blogging and making notes unto my self

I know we loved each other way before this step we took
But now I'm feeling D.I.F.F.E.R.E.N.T., it has me feeling shook
I want to open up, to see our worlds and stars collide
But doing that now, at this point I do not think is wise

It has me wondering more and more about these lines we've crossed
I pray and pray these crossed up lines don't cause a friendship loss
Am I over analyzing? Possibly...yea...maybe so
But that's what happens when really good friends get together, they just let go

No change in you have I seen so why am I even here?
I guess I can't help but wonder what if you get tired my dear
Or what if I tire of this course we've traveled in these 2 weeks past
The things we've done and yet to do, how long will this thing last?

I know our friendship will remain and continue strong
Of that there I have no doubt even with these 'feel great' wrongs
But I just can't help but wonder if or why or what or who
What would it be like, I mean, how would it feel...a life with I and you
I've always wondered, from day one but I know you knew that too
When you read this just remember to thine own self be true

SOCIAL NETWORK CREEPING

When I tell you there are some things in life that should simply NOT be done or tolerated...THIS IS ONE!! Social networks have become a big HUB for "CREEPING" men (I am focused on FB at the moment though)!! I wish men would stop trying to holla when it CLEARLY states you are "in a relationship", "engaged" and the ULTIMATE "married" on your page! It is NOT just a turn off but a HUGE turn off! Once u cheat there is no turning back and when you choose to cheat you have already chosen the fate of your relationship. So with that in mind if you are creeping on her I would be more than a fool to think you wouldn't do the same to me and for those just looking to CREEP but not leave the home situation...GTFOH!!! Seriously...KILL YOURSELF!

Now don't get me wrong, I can not even sit here and pretend that I wasn't EVER the "other woman", in my mid 20's that is what I did!! You HAD to have a significant other in order to get a little bit of my time and I do mean a little. Living and learning teaches you KARMA is REAL so remaining in this mind frame was a road to destruction, a road I did NOT want to travel. So once I hit my early 30's the COUGAR chick set in and carrying the "sideline chick" title was no more! I needed it to be ALL about my "CUB and I" anyways. *giggles*

Men, if you are NOT happy with your current situation...why not just leave? Don't give me that "it's complicated" line, that's old men! I am tired of hearing that one! Stop with all the promises of "I am leaving my wife/fiancee/girlfriend" as those wolf tickets can NOT be sold and will not be bought over in this neck of the woods!

I am truly a "different" creature and I don't think like ANY WOMAN you'll ever meet! I expect HONESTY, nothing more and nothing less from ANY male I encounter! Make your intentions known and stop lying about your relationship status! If it sounds like a lie to me, then that is what it is...PEER-REE-YOD!!! Just tell women what it REALLY is and let her decide if she wants to continue on in your situation. It is SO rude to bring in an unsuspected woman with deceit, that's how you end up with your windows busted and tires slashed.

MORAL OF THE STORY: If you CREEP on her, you'll CREEP on me too so stay out of my inbox and miss me with all that hollaring and you have a girl/fiancee/wife! Aight?

OK...I feel better now!

There is NO charity case over here...

Take a walk in my shoes for just a minute if you would. Do you mind? I want to share with you what it is I do on an almost daily basis.

MONDAY MORNING:

7:00 a.m. get up/shower/dress
7:50 a.m. head to the AR6 bus stop
8:20 a.m. arrive downtown (Rosa Parks Station)

8:40 a.m. catch CT3 to Rivercity
8:58 a.m. arrive to Rivercity (go to Paneras or Wam-Mart to waste time)
9:25 a.m. enter my store & prepare for the day
6:30 p.m. I AM FREE!! LOL Head to CT3 bus stop
6:55 p.m. arrive downtown
IF 6:50 p.m. AR6 is running late I jump on otherwise I have to wait for the 7:40 p.m. bus
7:25 p.m. or 8:15 p.m. arrive home

There are some hellified gaps in the time (weekends are MUCH worse) so I am up and out early and out and up late due to the mode of transportation I have chosen. If I have learned nothing else in the past 2.5 years I've learned patience and understanding!! I've also learned that in order for you to do and be better sometimes you have to suffer humiliation, be broken ALL the way down to be rebuilt a new person...prayerfully a better person than before.

NOW...why did I share this? Well what I have run into in the past 2 years are some men who feel because I ride public transportation and live in an "aight" apartment complex that I "NEED" them somehow. When I turn down an offer for a ride, something MUST be wrong with me!! REALLY?!?! Because I chose to use my $40 monthly bus pass that I paid MY hard earned money for something must be wrong with me. *laughs* I truly want y'all to understand that what I do, I do because it is my choice, y'all need to understand that there is no charity case over here. Yes it TRULY gets tough sometimes, don't get it twisted, but having been BOTH homeless and jobless at a point in the past 6 years of my life I don't complain. I have been through worse than being without a car.

Fellas, don't think because a woman is "without" that she is needy and/or dependent on you. If you choose to assist, that is on you. If she asks and you assist, again that is on you but don't feel like you can play on her emotions, her 'lack thereof' OR intelligence because not all women desire your hand out or are looking for that "take care of me" man. Nothing in life is free...there is a price on everything that everyone does and with knowing that "I AM GOOD"!! I am not talking to those who genuinely give and do because they know that's where their blessings come from so please don't think that. This is for those looking to gain a big something from doing a little something, they know who they are.

*WOO SAH*

I feel better now...grinding my gears does this to me! Thanks for listening!!

CUFFING SEASON - I THINK I AM READY...AGAIN!

I've seen and used this term quite often as of late and have been asked by a lot of people what exactly does "CUFFING SEASON" mean. Well simply put, it means that time of the year or season that you want or need to be "boo'd up", ball & chained, Mr & Mrs, etc. etc.!

If you live in the SUNNY state of Florida, as I do, you know we are in hurricane season which brings on lots and lots of rainy weather and some cool temps, right? So when you're "CUFFED" times like these are even the better as you have someone to share that 'down time' with, that 'cuddling', simply 'enjoying yourself time' with. I know you hear me, holla if you do! *laughs*

Now, as for me, I've been single for almost 3 years and coming home from work or any event to an empty apartment has truly began to SUCK...majorly THUS creating the need to constantly discuss the "CUFFING SEASON" term.

As I sit here writing my son, blogging, listening to Sunday Night Football and the rain falling outside something awakens in me. I look over at the empty queen size bed and think THIS would be the best time to be "CUFFED".

No it is not a sexual term, I am not saying I'd love to be on my queen size bed GOING AT IT, nope...that's not what I am saying at all (though it's not a bad thought) but what I am saying is it would be nice to simply enjoy the company of a man, MY MAN, watching the game and cuddling to the sound of the rain.

I read all these status' and tweets about being single and loving it AKA #TEAMSINGLE but I find that hard to believe. EVERYONE needs someone, we were not put here to be by ourselves so how can you find happiness in being alone?

I am not saying you HAVE to have a mate to find happiness because to be honest you should be happy with yourself first and than once you have attained that your soul mate is pretty much a given. I think all that I love being single, I don't need a man/woman talk is unhappiness and instead of checking one self you simply mask it with the #TEAMSINGLE lie.

I am in the "evaluation" process of myself right now cause I feel a GREAT CUFFING coming on and I want to be ready! ALL THE WAY READY!!!

WE ARE JAGUARS NOT FAIR WEATHER FANS!!

This has been a LONG time coming! I've been a fan of the

for at least 6 years and a season ticket holder 4 of them. I know they are NOT the best team and I also know they are NOT the worse team but

is how folk respond to the Jaguars loss, like they are the ONLY team that lost on any given Sunday. One thing I've learned in my journey to loving football and being a Jaguars fan is that very few teams remain on top at all times! They all have to come down at some point in time, those at the bottom (i.e. Detroit Lions) have to come up at some point and there is only ONE Superbowl winner every year!

I am not one for jumping ship when it goes down...grab a plank and drift to shore is my motto! To move from one team to another is so FAIR WEATHER and makes you a BAND WAGONER! My character will not allow such foolishness! I am not fair weather fan. If all teams that didn't do well lost fans to the team(s) doing well for that season there will be no LOYALTY. I know I could NOT date a man who was like that, hell, he'd do that in relationships too! I'M GOOD! LOL

I will NOT lie, I am PISSED off

about today's loss to the Bengals but who wouldn't be if they are TRUE Jaguar fans? It's a human emotion to failure but doesn't mean we will jump the Jaguar ship to another teams ship, that's foolishness therefore we know NOTHING about being a fair weather fan!

WE ARE JAGUARS...so stop asking why! We know LOYALTY...do you?!?!

You call yourself LOYAL?!?!?

LOYALTY: 1. The quality of being loyal to someone or something; 2. A strong feeling of support or allegiance

One thing I've learned in life is that there is NO real loyalty among "so-called" friends. Those you think you can trust the most to provide you with information that may need IMMEDIATE attention or those so-called friends who do NOT know how to control or curb their impulses!

When you are LOYAL you talk to those that may be affected by any said situation to assure that all is well and will be well when said situation is either 1. brought to the forefront or 2. yearns creation.

ANY and EVERY one should take pride in their LEGACY, be a STRAIGHT NO CHASER type of person as it cuts down on misunderstandings and stop lying, especially when you're not good at it! One should NOT tolerate folk who smile in their face while situations are possibly being created behind their back by those who claim to be your friends or LOYAL!

Even when situations have possibly passed and possibly been "squashed" it should be brought to light especially when the creator of the situation feels like he/she is getting away with it. There is NOTHING worse than someone who is allowed to get over at your expense because you never addressed them directly and/or someone who willingly keeps information preventing the ability to make the address.

KNOW THIS...if you have to be checked IT WON'T BE NOTHING NICE...not at ALL!! It may be water under the bridge but please believe that water won't dry up and that it runs deep!

What are WomEn becoming?!?!

So, I'm scrolling my Twitter timeline, reading my Facebook news-feed, Blackplanet and Myspace bulletins and posts and 70% of what I see are half-naked WomEn (percentage may be higher)! In all my years of living I never thought I'd see this day of which we live in now where it has become acceptable for WomEn to be scantily clad all the time. How'd this happen WomEn?!?!?

Coming up WomEn had more cooth about themselves but now, the norm seems to be show all you have for a moment of fame or pleasure even. It pains me to see where our gender is heading! I have a daughter and two beautiful grand-daughters and the thought of either of them heading down this road sickens me!

I am not nor will I knock ANYONE'S hustle, let me clear that right now. By all means, DO YOU because you are the only one who can but at what point will glorifying your sexuality and sex appeal and how men perceive WomEn become a factor OR a thought process for you? I see several posts, tweets, etc. asking for respect from men and wondering why men treat you like they do. Some have the worse attitudes with it too; "WHO HE CALLING A B*TCH" or "I AIN'T NOBODIES HOE"!! You would be ABSOLUTELY correct in that questioning and saying so but the odd part of all this is 90% of WomEn posting these types of statuses have profiles with half naked default pictures or a photo folder FULL of half naked photos. What exactly do you expect men to do with all that?!?!

Know this WomEn, to get respect you must FIRST respect yourself; to be treated better, you must FIRST treat yourself better! Your actions dictate the reactions!!

WE have to be better WomEn...MUCH better!

...that is all