Mother of an incarcerated son - Baker C.I.

My son was moved to the Re-entrance program last week, Friday August 31st I believe it was. He has not been at Baker C.I. for a full week and "IT" has begun already. I am learning to LET GO AND LET GOD but the mother in me keeps wanting to jump in and SAVE MY SON!

I knew when he was transferred to Baker C.I. that there would be problems. He's not been there a full week and already had to fight, supposedly over some previous "beef" with this other inmates family member. I am trying my best to leave the matters I can not control in my Fathers hands but it's so hard and so frustrating. I am happy my son has a friend, Chaunyce, who can visit him when I can't and take me when I can.

After visitation today, she brought me back a picture of my son.

The mother in me see's that the smile is not real but mother in me also wants to believe it is and that he is going to be just fine. I am so torn with emotions right now, I hate feeling this way. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to hurt anyone who even things about hurting my son but I can't ... THAT is the worse feeling ever. A parent who can't protect their child even thought that child is grown. I wish I could have seen him today.

I want to call Baker C.I. and speak with his Classification Officer, Mr. John's tomorrow, to discuss my feelings but in the same breath, same thought process, I don't want to call and risk my son being looked at as a punk or a mama's boy who needs his mother to call about his prison issues. He hasn't asked me one time to call or request a move. One thing I know is the grass is not always greener on the other side. He could be moved to a worse facility, GOD forbid that but these are the things that make me scream often. These are the feelings I felt when he first went in and here they are ALL over again. Please keep my son and I in prayer as well as my daughter and his daughters. They are affected by all of this as well, maybe not in the same capacity but it does effect us all. I will end here because I am rambling and I do not like one bit how it feels. It "aches" me inside, this life he's chosen that has caused him to face the consequences he's facing now but I am thankful that he is still above ground for me love. GOD has a purpose, GOD has a plan or else my son would have been destroyed in the streets. Love you son