My Influencer

In my 49 years of life I have seen and done a lot of things, some good and some not so good. It wasn't until I became a mother that a lot of those things changed because I no longer had myself to look out for but 2 little ones that would watch and emulate my every move. As a parent we hope we are raising them the right way so that later in their adult life they are productive members of society. They don't always go the route that we want them to go but it was never our choice to make, only to mold them, influence them to be the best they can be. Most of us never think about how one day, they would turn around and do the same for us.

Actually her name is Deondrea or DeeDee as most of us call her. I remember at an early age how she influenced me. She was my flower power child. She loved everyone no matter there race, gender or religion. I watched her in awe for years because I had NO IDEA where she came from. She loved genuinely which a lot of us, by my age, had stopped doing. She was my little reminder and I thanked the Most High for her. This was my 16 year old DeeDee I think. My memory is garbage but it was somewhere along those lines.

Moving forward to 2010 when she began to influence me on another level. This is when she returned to her natural roots and shaved all of her hair off. I remember like it was yesterday. We both had hair appointments and were still members of team creamy crack. Lencola, our stylist at that time, started my head first. She was aware of what DeeDee wanted and put me under the dryer in another room while she gave my daughter the BIG CHOP!! She was creating the newest member of team natural and I had no clue. When I walked into the front service area I was STUNNED and SHOCKED to say the least. I couldn't believe she had cut all of her hair off. I had so many questions and I think I was a bit negative towards it as well. I apologize DeeDee, I didn't know any better. After so many years of being team creamy crack it was hard to believe that she had gone and shaved her head BUT this is where she became my influencer into the natural side. I watched her journey, the good and bad of it and something in me said I needed to support her and do better myself. In a little over a years time I too had my first big chop (one of many). I wonder what took me so long to join team natural but better late than never. The weekend that I returned to my natural roots we had our "It's Natural" photo shoot and shortly after DeeDee moved back to Virginia. This was the best send off. We have so many natural memories.

Look at my influencer and the growth in her hair. This growth is from a little over one years time! This was my goal. I wanted this beautifully created head of natural hair too but it didn't work out that way for me. I was too scissor/clipper happy but nonetheless I became a part of a team I have yet to leave and never will. Why won't I ever leave? Well, I've decided to loc. YEP I am going to join locnation with my daughter. She has given mom a new look at being a part of team natural. It's funny because anyone who knows me knows I love being bald headed, the shorter the better for me especially residing in Fl. It's way to hot for hair BUT watching her loc journey has been fascinating and I want to join. She started this journey in 2016 with a head full of hair and now it falls midway down her back. Isn't she lovely??

How can she follow up with influencing me from this?!?! Well, let me tell you. The next BIG influence came around 2015 or so. She began talking about the pescatarian lifestyle. For those who don't know, a pescatarian is a person who does not eat meat but does eat fish. I had began a healthier lifestyle venture in 2012 (see health blog for that story) and a few health scares of my own caused me to look into living a meatless life. I did not eat pork or red meat but poultry was my vice, especially chicken. Most people turn to sweets for comfort but chicken was my comfort food. After a few discussions I decided to join her in this venture. I also cut out dairy so it had become an expensive lifestyle to say the least. Organic fruits and veggies, no diary so nut milk replacements and seafood. Needless to say this life eventually became a vegan lifestyle for me. I couldn't influence her to join me though. (light chuckle) I thank her so much for this one nonetheless. She helped her mother become a better person and possibly live longer. SIDE BAR: sadly I've fallen off of the vegan bandwagon but I still eat well, healthy.

So on top of 2 of the biggest changes I have made, leaving team creamy crack/joining the life of a LOCstar and healthier eating, my daughter is also an influencer when it comes to my true passion. She will be a huge part of what I do with my communications degree. I have done radio, created podcast, been on other podcasts, hosted/emceed events and of course blog. I have a group called Mothers of an Incarcerated Son (MOIS) of which there are blog entries as well. I have wanted to do so much more for the group but was unsure what direction to take. Recently my daughter introduced me to a podcast called Ear Hustle, a non-fiction podcast about prison life produced at San Quentin State Prison by inmates. This podcast has provided the jump start I needed to get my creative juices for MOIS flowing. I now know what I want to do with it. I have listened to every episode of Ear Hustle and enjoyed them immensely. Thanks to my influencer for all she has done. My girl is the best! Mom loves you more than life.

Y'all be on the look out for the MOIS blogs that are coming soon. Families of PRISONERS are the forgotten victims and my plan is to help you remember.

Keep REAL ones around! #OnGod

It's taken me a week to write this blog because I was not sure of the angle I wanted to take. You know, if I wanted to place 3 of my fitness family members, Leroy, Wilchelle & Jamie, on the highest pedestal and sing all of their holy praises or simply tell the story. To be honest, there is no angle JUST the truth of it all. They may still end up on that pedestal ... actually my entire fitness family. Overstand, it's a true blessing when you are surrounded by people who truly care and have your BEST interest at heart. This describes the entire Justice League Of Fitness (JLOF) and I have one piece of advise to everyone reading this ... Keep REAL ones around. #OnGod

Last week we attended SCW Mania in Atlanta, please believe the JLOF showed up and showed out. Beginning early Friday a.m. through Sunday afternoon we were all scheduled for some of the most intense workout sessions and lectures. Day 1, for me, was ALL dancing with one nutritional session which was totally awesome. For those that know me, you know dancing is life so I was in heaven. My first class was Zumba with Erick Santana. When I tell you he gave us the business - HE GAVE US THE BUSINESS!! I have never been so enthused about Zumba in my life as I was after that session.

Afterwards, I had 2 sessions of Country Fusion line dancing, one was a workshop. This was right up my alley. Elizabeth Mooney is a great instructor. She made the session so much fun that I brought back 4 dances from her sessions to my own class. The ladies shown in the picture below are Wilchelle and Jamie (my trip roomie). I was mad as all hell with them on Day 2 but in the end I realized what they did was all done out of love.

(SIDEBAR) During this class I had one of the greatest moments of the entire weekend. One of the attendees asked me if I had a YouTube channel, when I responded yes she advised she recognized me. She told me she enjoys the way I teach. I helped several participants with the dances in class and was shown a lot of love over the entire weekend as a result. I love what I do and it shows when I dance. I thank Ms. Lorraine for letting me know that I need to continue doing what I do, no matter how discouraged I may get sometimes.

Day 2 started off really well but took a turn for the worse about 30 minutes in. Our first class was Reb3l, a high intensity dance style of fitness taught in a club like environment. The ambiance was just right for dance fitness. Oh, let me step back for a moment. I have neglected to mention a very important factor ... I have an AHLM (anterior horn of the lateral meniscus) moderate macerated tear in my left knee. I was unsure if I should have come but I knew I could modify my workouts to assure that I did not put too much stress on my knee. Well, I was doing well in Reb3l until they played one of my favorite songs. I had not heard Keri Hilson's 'Get Your Money Up' in years. The beat dropped and I LOST IT! All modifications went out the door and I went in. If you have bad knees then you overstand the pain of dancing on carpet without shoe socks/covers. Pivoting of any kind can cause a lot of pain. There was this move that required an in and out leg motion and it happened to occur on my favorite part of the song so y'all KNOW what that means. I WENT IN!! I was able to get a good one and a half in/out motion before I felt a pop. Tears begin to immediately fall from my face but I was sweating as well so I felt I could play it off. Wilchelle was in my face so fast, it was almost comical. She asked if I was crying. Initially I told her no but eventually I answered I was crying and sweating. I continued to dance against my fit fam's advice. Wilchelle eventually snitched on me to Jamie who told her to call Leroy, the head honcho. Long story short, I was pulled out of class and sat down for the remainder of day 2. I was NOT happy at all. I was so mad at the 3 of them for most of day 2 but as mad as I was, I began to realize this was for the best. Leroy proceeded to ice the knee and take care of it from a worst case scenario perspective. I was confined to my room. Let me show you what happened as a result of that POP in class.

What an entire mess this was! Could barely put weight on it and all I could think about was how mad I was that I was made to sit out. Want to know the icing on the cake? One of the classes I was supposed to take that day was right below the bathroom window of my room. I could see Jamie, Wilchelle and Sharon getting down in POUND class. I cried like a big ole baby. I wanted to dance and workout. It was so unfair to me is all I kept thinking THEN it hit me ... I could have made my condition worst. My fit fam did what they felt was necessary because I wouldn't. They made me sit down and be still when they knew I had no plan to stop. It is an awesome feeling to know others care about you more than you do yourself. I had planned to do all of my classes on that popped knee. I am glad their plans were different. I had to see the orthopedic specialist the day after we arrived home. I showed him the picture of my knee and he was blown away. He thought I had really done some damage to my knee due to the increased swelling. I gave him the long version of what happened and he told me the immediate care given after feeling the pop was possibly the saving grace for my knee. This was my visit ... over 40 cc's of fluid was drawn from my knee.

So to the 3 JLOF members who I was SO angry at ... THANK YOU! I love you all with my whole heart. It takes genuine care to "snitch" and make sure your fellow fit fam member is ok. To the rest of the fam (Sharon, Monica, T-Hi, Mr. Taylor, Roger and Walter) thank you also. You checked on me, fussed at me when I was out of line, and just made sure I was alright after you were made aware of my issue. I am proud to say I am a part of this organization.

CHEAT IN PEACE!

I have a serious question and I hope y'all can provide a sista with an answer or two. DISCLAIMER: I do not subscribe to these types of actions. They are both comical and pathetic in my opinion but something I have pondered over for years nonetheless!

So you think your mate is being unfaithful, right? Ok, BOOM, so check it ... you've put an elaborate plan together to catch your mate in the act. You may use a fake social media page, hack into their current social media accounts, go through their phone or maybe even follow them to a said location. You know, back in the day you really had to be an inch high private eye and put in some foot work BUT NOT in today's world of technological advancements. You now have the advantage of social media which means you can get the dirt while at work or laying in your bed. Who knows but times have changed so finding the dirt is a lot easier and puts a lot of foot patrolling to rest. Watching these stories unfold on social media or listening to them in person is extremely comical. Soooooo ...

After ALL of that playing detective WHAT HAPPENS NOW?!?! I cram to overstand the point of it all. You bash this person all over social media, to your family and friends but STILL stay with them after you find EVERYTHING YOU ARE LOOKING FOR and I mean EVERYTHING. So what was the point? There was no plan in place for the "if I am right" scenario and you indeed were right. I see these situations more times than not. If you are not going to leave them what is the point in attempting to catch them cheating?

OR HER!! When they realize they've gotten away with it and you stayed, what would stop them from doing it again? This makes you look naive and gullible not only to your mate but the side piece and EVERYONE you've shared this with as well. That side piece is still, in most cases, messing with your mate and if not them, a new side piece. So again, what's the point?

I was just wondering and figured I would put it out there. I saw this situation on social media earlier and felt like taking it to the masses to see what say you all! Thanks in advance for the possible clarity (if that exists) you will provide. It's appreciated.

The Events of June 10th of 1988 - It Still Hurts

On June 10th, 31 years ago I had three VERY life changing events occur. What was supposed to be one of the best days of my life began with the loss of one of the most important persons in my life. My #1 lady my grandmother, Barbara L. Vann, passed early in the a.m. I was awakened to hush voices and ambulance lights flashing through the entire house.

What a way to start the day. I was graduating from high school that evening. I had just modeled my cap and gown for her the day before. She expressed how proud of me she was. I am the FIRST of my generation - my mom's first, first grand & great grand. I knew all of my grand and great grandparents. I was truly blessed in that regard but at that moment none of that mattered. I did not matter to me if I walked across that stage to get that diploma or not at that moment. I told my mother I wasn't and the only thing that made me go was the fact that my grandmother would have wanted me to do it so I did. I was not a happy day either.

I didn't want to do anything after graduation but do home and sulk. My mom talked me into going out with my then boyfriend who, on that night, became my "baby daddy". Yep, that was also the SAME day I conceived my son. Talk about life changers!

11 days ago, on June 10th, I started this blog. I cried a lot. My son is currently serving a 3 year sentence in a Florida State prison. This is his second time going in. People don't overstand that you can grief a child who is not deceased ... just absent from your presence so every time I would start this blog I began to grieve for the loss of my grandmother and my son.

I miss them both dearly. I believe he was given to me in place of her which makes it even harder. You'd think it would be easier now but 30 plus years later, it all still hurts like it did June 10, 1988. Thanks for listening y'all. I had to finally get it off of my chest. #JUNE101988 #EmoDay

The GLOW Up heading to 50

As I sit here sippin' this created with muscadines Vintners White wine (IT IS THE BOMB) for this Chapter 49 of my life that I just entered I am reflecting on how awesome my 40's have been!

This is the last year of my 40's! Time has truly flown and goals have been met. During this decade I have lost weight (50 lbs in 2012, maintaining keeping at least 30 lbs off),returned to my natural roots and graduated with my Bachelors of Science in Communications. During this decade, I have prepared myself for the next. The moves made will set me up for great things. Let me show you two.

Along with successfully completing the three above mentioned goals, I also became a line dance aerobics instructor AND a certified NRA Pistol instructor. So, not only am I able to dance you fit, I can also train you on the proper way to use a firearm and get you certified to obtain your conceal carry permit. Entrepreneurship is the next goal. When you are doing what you love you are never working is how I see it.

This 40's reflection also caused me to look at my physical self. Going into my 50's, I need to work a little harder on my physical activity. Although, weight wise, I am still in the same range give or take 5-10 lbs (that is actually a lot to me) I could do better in my eating and workout habits. I use to be a QUEEN OF THE BRIDGES but knee issues have slowed that down. I must persevere and work through this. The next pictures show b-earthday's from ages 40-48. I have to say my favorite year was 2014! 44 was my YEAR! Life, health and body were awesome. I was also celibate and learning to love me more. *whispers to self* Maybe we should go back to that life!

The above pictures keep me straight every year. I look at each year that passes through the pictures taken on my birthday. I am missing something this year because I haven't gotten back on it like I should. I have fallen off the vegan wagon HARD. No I don't eat red meat or pork but I dabble in seafood and poultry. I will eat an egg white or 2 for breakfast with a side of turkey bacon or sausage. I still won't drink cow's milk or do any dairy either, they nauseate me. I found that out the hard way with a milkshake so I am good there. For the most part I still eat pretty healthy but I need to make changes. Here is Chapter 49's picture. The dress is big and it flows but my arms and legs say a LOT!

At 49 I'm not bad but could be a lot better! The GLOW UP is still real as I count down the days to 50! My goals for this last year of my 40's is to 1.) get a job that aligns with my educational background, 2.) work on making entrepreneurship a full time lifestyle and 3.) more traveling! That is a lot for 365 days but I am sure it can be done! WATCH ME WORK! It is written so it shall be done. The universe and I are going to make it happen! Come back and watch the progress.

Chapter 49 - Goal Getter

So here it is, June 20 2019 and almost 1 a.m. What's so special about this date? Well it's my b-earthday and I turned 49 today! I can't believe I am almost 5 decades years young.

I remember when I was younger thinking that 40 was old. When I turned 40 I looked younger than some of the 20 year old women walking around.

Here are a few pictures from my time in my 40's. It has been a GRAND time! I lost 50 lbs, returned to my natural roots and graduated with my Bachelors. My 40's has been a great learning experience as well as an awakening decade. I always heard once you hit your 40's things change and that is the truth. My IDGAF meter is off the chart and the closer I get to 50 the more intense that gets. Anyone reading this in your 40's relate to what I just said?

I brought in 49 with a glass of Vintners White wine from the San Sebastian Winery and it has long ago kicked in BUT I wanted to make this post before going to sleep. My goal in the next year is to secure the bag ... simple as that! New business (self employment), new residence, new car and travel! I have 365 days to make this happen. Happy B=earthday to me! LET'S GEAUX CHAPTER 49!!

Nothing like a GEMINI!!!

Mission Impossible COMPLETE - The Tale of Graduation and Chanel

On September 4, 2011 I wrote a blog - MISSION IMPOSSIBLE - THE REINVENTION OF MS CHANEL! In this blog I set 3 goals (which increased to 5 later but I don't think I ever wrote about them) that were to be completed before I turned 50 and as of May 9, 2019, a month shy of my 49th birthday, all goals have been completed. Before I go any further, let me tell the tale of "Graduation and Chanel".

For months, leading up to graduation, I had VEHEMENTLY stated I would not be walking. This started in the Fall semester of 2018 when I realized my two reasons for everything I do/did in life would not be attending. I felt there wasn't a need. Graduations, in my opinion, are to show off what you have accomplished to your family and friends. Truth be told though, if I were to never march I would still have accomplished the goal of completing the Bachelors program. My reminders would be the degree hanging on my wall AND the student loan debt incurred. In the 'getting ready to graduate again' process, I was reminded of when I received my A.A. degree in 2006. My son and daughter were right there by my side.

I walked to show them that NO MATTER the age you can do anything. I wanted them to see that if mom could do it they could too. It didn't have to happen right out of high school but at any point in their lives. So this go around, I truly did not see the need to walk but close friends and the man who supports me saw otherwise. The day of graduation I had a complete and total (I know they mean the same but that's how serious it was) meltdown. Thinking back to it now, I looked like one of my 2 year-old granddaughters having a tantrum because they were told no. I screamed, stomped, cried, yelled, cried, etc. Y'all get the picture. At that very moment, I did not care if I walked or not. My son is incarcerated again and my daughter was unable to make it to Florida. Why should I walk? For who? Well, I remembered one very special little person was coming ... my oldest granddaughter Daysha. Don't get it twisted, my other half, coworkers/friends were there and I was happy but knowing that my oldest grand could see her grandmother graduate made my heart smile. She is an extension of my child so in my eyes, it was just like my child(ren) being there.

At this moment, one month later, I am appreciative. I am happy and I am blessed. I have completed all 3 goals I set at 40 to complete before I turned 50. The 2 additional added were to take a trip out of the country and marriage. Well, I guess I can say the out of the country part has been completed. I did take a cruise in December 2018 and we went to the Bahamas.

It was my first time on a cruise and being out of the connected United States. I do want to make another BIG trip for my 50th birthday next year, stay tuned!