Asthma may have saved our relationship!

My experience with asthma, prior to my 40's, was solely through my nephew, son and granddaughter. They all have the dreaded condition and I have been added to that roster. For the past 3-4 years I have been learning to deal with sudden onsets of chest tightness, shortness of breath and an inability to breathe. These past 2-3 weeks have been really tough due to an asthma exacerbation. What is that you ask? It is an acute (severe or intense degree) episode of progressive worsening of symptoms of asthma, including shortness of breath, wheezing, cough, and chest tightness. There is NOTHING like the feeling of wanting to breathe but can't. I found myself using my inhaler and nebulizer far more than I should so I know the condition was getting worse. So how could something this life threatening save a relationship and who is the other part of "our"? Well let me show you ...

This little fella right here, my first born Dante'. This was taken in 1989, he was about five months in this picture, he is 27 now. Our relationship has been a tough one for years. It was okay up until the age of 9 when he found out the man who had been raising him was not his biological father. Once he was introduced to his biological father things went downhill. Do I regret that move? Sometimes I do but it had to be done so it was what it was, you know? Moving forward, a lot of things happened with my son with the worst beginning around the age of 16 or 17. I created a blog series about those times, the biggest occurrence in our lives to date, his time behind bars. **check out Mother of an Incarcerated Son** Those times created a huge divide between he and I, one so large that I never thought it would come back together until recently.

Dante' had never been around when I had any type of asthma flare up but Thursday, January 19, that changed. When I walked in the door from school I was struggling to breathe and trying to get to my machine. He heard me and asked if I had jogged home. I could barely speak but I was able to explain what was going on and asked him to get parts from my bathroom that went to my machine so that I could start a treatment.

He watched as I frantically put everything together and began my treatment. He didn't stay the entire time but he watched until I could let him know I was okay. That moment changed him. He came back in my room about 30 minutes or so later and expressed how seeing me like that scared him. He told me he was not ready for me to leave him. I told him years ago that when my grandmother passed the morning of my high school graduation, I became pregnant with him that same evening. I felt God had given her back to me through him. He was the love replaced for the love I had lost. He's never forgotten that and with another baby girl on the way he felt she is my replacement for him. I had to hug and console him, let him know asthma had to do more than what he saw to take me out of here! He and his sister are stuck with me!

Since this incident happened we have communicated more, which I enjoy. He seems more open to sharing things with me than he was before and I owe that to my asthma. We have laughed and joked about many things, his sister included, from my being old, my memory and other things since this has occurred but what took the cake was today's foolishness. Jacksonville is supposed to be getting some harsh weather tomorrow so I made sure he was aware and advised him to take precautions just in case we get the tornadic activity and hail predicted. We sent our good morning check in texts after which I told him I was watching the movie CANDY MAN ... that is another blog in itself when it comes to him, I'll tell it one day. In the process of the joking back and forth we said our "I love you" partings and then it happened. What happened? THIS!!!

When I tell y'all I laughed until I cried!! This young man had me seriously thinking about what man gave me nuts that caused me to go crazy. Things like this are definitely comical but priceless, that's why I just had to share. We were not having these types of comical interactions prior to his witnessing what asthma was putting me through. It's a curse that actually produced a blessing. No, we are not at the best place we could be, there are still issues but I am grateful for the ice being broken enough that we are able to talk about things we weren't discussing before. I'll take these baby steps. You have to crawl before you walk and walk before you run. As hard as this season has been on my asthma I am thankful for that moment ... I truly feel it saved our relationship.