Day 2 - 24 Hours No Complaints

I said yesterday that Day 2 was going to be as good if not better than Day 1 and you know what? I spoke BETTER THAN into existence because it definitely topped Day 1!! Understand, in order to be successful in ANYTHING there has to be a plan.

Lets start with the meat and potatoes of the day, what started it off so well after the #1 reason - being blessed to see a new day. Mid-way through my work day I was called into my managers office. I had been asked previously to take a part-time key holder position but going to school full-time as well as teaching a line dance aerobics class every Monday had me unsure if I wanted to take on that responsibility. I have previous retail store manager experience and I know management could not have set schedules. This would be a must for me in order to finish school and teach my classes. I discussed these concerns with the management team as well as asked about pay. They were willing to work with me on the hours so I said I would take it dependent on the wage. Yesterday, during that meeting, I was advised of the pay and offered the position ... I ACCEPTED!!

I left retail previously because I wasn't a fan of the hours BUT what I found in that one year I stepped away to work a 9-5 Monday-Friday job was that I enjoyed the retail hours much more than I thought! So what did I do? I came back to the place my heart longed to be ... retail, working face to face with customers. I have been on my current job for 2 years now and worked in EVERY department. This promotion is a true blessing. Things are finally looking up and going my way.

After getting that good news I knew I did NOT want to stay in, I needed to celebrate. A good friend of mine was having his 4th annual #FlySocksandTees party so I immediately knew what the move was going to be. I left work with joy in my heart and a skip in my strut because I had a great day and it was about to get even better!

So as you can see there was a 90's theme. I knew I wasn't going to be dressed for that because in the 90's I was a mom of 2 and married. I wasn't going to represent that but upon a quick search I found lots of denim, short dresses, tall socks, sneakers and boots. I could handle that EASY!

There are several other pictures that were taken last night but I won't post them. They aren't bad but just know we had LOTS of fun. It definitely topped off a successful, complaint free Day 2. By the end of the night I began thinking, the only thing that could actually seal the deal would be to see my Leo King ... Mfalme wangu. I put it in the air and VOILA ...

Black Panther came to calm the Storm ... it is one of the things he does best! Day 2 was definitely one helluva day! Now, halfway through Day 3, let me see what this will be. If you are taking this challenge, let me know how your Day 1 and 2 were. In your success, what obstacles did you face that almost made you complain, if any? If you failed, did you get back up and try again? What was the complaint that caused you to fail and how do you plan to get past it if it occurs again?

24 HOURS - NO COMPLAINTS

Can you go 24 hours without complaining?

GREAT RISING ONE AND ALL!! Yesterday would have been Day 16 of #NOCOMPLAINTS but I failed on Day 15. I allowed an issue that has been ongoing for years to bring me down in a matter of seconds. But what that did was allow me to see that issue for what it was, something I can NOT control, and how I plan to deal with it going forward. Yesterday, the start over, DAY 1 was absolutely amazing! Everything about it, from sunrise to sunset, kept me smiling and filled with positive vibes! I was blessed to spend most of the day with some beautiful women (1 is missing from the picture), inside & out, on a college tour to FAMU and FSU to show a few young men and women what their future could look like by continuing their education beyond high school.

How did it end? It ended with a little conversation with the King I believe the Most High has sent to bring out the true Kween in me and 11 glorious hours of sleep! I needed ALL of that! Now, let's see if Day 2 will produce some of those same vibes so that my day remains as great as yesterday if not better. Starting over is not all bad, it is truly how you look at it and what you plan to do to fix it that makes it what it is.

As I take this journey one day at a time, the goal is to go every day for the rest of my life without complaining. I can honesty say during those 14 days, thats 2 weeks, those daily headaches I was suffering from decreased tremendously, my sleep pattern improved and my interactions with everyone around me was lighter, happier. I could feel the change, the higher vibrations and elevation and it felt wonderful. This is how I want EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE to be so this is what I am striving to make happen.

If you join this daily challenge, I ask that you post your end of day results in the comment section. They may inspire someone else to join as well. I would love to hear how it went and encourage you to continue on a daily basis!! Let's all vibrate higher! Asubuhi njema Wafalme na Malkia. Baraka! #LearnSwahili #Feedyourmind

Is it wrong? What say you?

I have a scenario that I want to toss out to you all and get some feedback. This will not be a long blog and this is a no judgement zone here so by all means, PLEASE comment your thoughts on this matter, OK?

You have been dating someone for a few months and you realize it isn't working so you bow out as gracefully and peacefully as possible. In those few months, the physical aspect of the relationship has become quite the game changer in this failing relationship. So game changing, in fact, that you almost stayed in it so that you could continue getting that good loving. You know in your heart and soul that this relationship is not conducive to your well being so you exit stage left before anything can get any deeper.

It's over know and you have begun realizing you no longer have any access to this now ex-mate, meaning you will miss the act of love making of which you had become accustomed. It had become an almost daily part of life and since you go months to years in-between relationships this NEW thing is giving you NEW life! This is where the dilemma comes in.

In an act of good will, or at least what you think is good will, you offer continued relations until one of you finds another mate. Whoever begins dating first must cut off the sexual relationship so that the new one can be focused on without interruption or interference. Is making such a sexual request wrong? Inappropriate? Do any of you see an issue with this? Do you think there would be a difference if it's the male or the woman putting this offer on the table? Let me be honest and clear, since the relationship was only a few months, I would have NO PROBLEM with it whatsoever.

I see it as a win-win situation but I have heard that this is

NOW I ASK ...

I am an Indigo Child ... makes sense!

So I came across this post on Facebook about the Indigo Child. There were 7 signs listed indicative of your possibility of being one. I knew there had to be a test for it so I searched online for the one. The end result? I scored an 85, which according to the results, made me an Indigo Child. In the results it said I received a score above 50 points meaning that I am likely an Indigo Child. So, what is an Indigo Child you ask?

This all makes so much sense to me now! I was diagnosed with A.D.H.D. years ago. I am very nonconformist and extremely emotional, so much that I even get upset with myself at how emo I can be. I am very talented; from hosting, poetry & song writing, blogging, voice overs, prior on-air personality to music recording, just to name a few of my talents. I have a very high bar set academically. I strive for A's only, B's are accepted IF the course was too much for me but they are not a preference and anything under that is failure!! I am a Gemini, can't neglect how GEMINI I am, so "switching out" is a normal thing to me. I can be empathetic and compassionate THEN in the blink of an eye be cold and callous. These actions have been a daily part of my life for 40+ years. I just figured it was astrologically related but now I see there is a higher reason - I AM AN INDIGO CHILD!

The Indigo Child is believed to represent a higher level of human evolution and development. They (children and adults) are believed to possess indigo colored auras, the color represents the third eye Chakra, hence the name "Indigo" Child. Additionally, the "indigo" aura is associated with psychic and paranormal abilities such as precognition, clairvoyance and telepathy, which in many instances the Indigo Child possesses since a young age.

The Indigo Child is believed to represent the next stage in human development and for this reason they possess a strong sense of inner meaning, purpose and destiny, often gravitating towards teaching and healing pursuits. If you are an Indigo Child:

You have a strong notion of who you are.

You instinctively know when you are being lied to, patronized or manipulated.

You have a strong sense of purpose and a feeling that you have a great life mission to fulfill.

You found school extremely boring and you were often perceived as antisocial.

You are highly sensitive and/or empathetic.

You have finely tuned intuitive abilities.

You're intelligent and you're thought of as "wiser than your years."

You're headstrong and resistant to authority figures.

You tend to be perceived as "bizarre" or "weird."

You're an independent thinker who prefers to lead rather than follow.

You're prone to depression and/or anger issues.

You have experienced psychic/paranormal phenomena since childhood.

This list provided so much clarity, hit so many things on the head for me. I've often second guess my intuitions and every time I did, without fail, I ended up getting the ugly end of whatever stick was involved. I have always "felt" who I was but could never get anyone else to understand that I am NOT of this world. Intelligent, sensitive, headstrong, independent, suffers from depression AND anger issues with paranormal phenomena experiences ... ALL ME!! Instead of "bizarre" or "weird", which I did get some times, I was always told "you are something else! Unsure what but something else"! This was said to me by family, friends, associates, acquaintances even people to whom I've been newly introduced. This list along with the man that the Most High has seen fit to send my way. His interests and thought processes are so much like mine that it is scary. I wouldn't be surprised if he too were an Indigo Child.

My daughter, the youngest of my two children, scored an 80 on the test. I am not surprised that she too is an Indigo Child. She has always been my "flower power" child. I knew she was different in so many great ways and this is part of the reason why. My being her mother is the main reason! (laughter ensues) So, tell me ... have you ever experienced any of the things listed but did not understand why? Have you questioned things about yourself, feelings you've had or things you think you've seen/experienced? Take the test and see what you get!

Can we go back to calling please?

Hey y'all, lets talk for a second, TALK being the key word here! I am not sure the age range of my blog readers but if you are a "digital immigrant" like myself you'll totally understand and relate to this conversation we are about to have. What's a digital immigrant you ask? Well, a digital immigrant is an individual who was born before the digital technology world became widespread and over used. Growing up there was no internet for me until I was 12 but it did not become highly recognizable until 1990 when the world wide web (WWW) was created. I was 19 or 20 at this time, depending on what time of the year it was. The digital immigrant is the opposite of the "digital native", one who was born into the technological world or has partaken of it since childhood. Isn't learning great?

If you are a digital immigrant AND living the single life, like myself, I am sure most of you feel the same way I do. This new age way of communicating is the BIGGEST turn off EVER! I remember house phones that had no call waiting, mounted on the wall with the long cord! This is one of the many reasons verbal interaction was so appreciated. Anyone wanting to make a call or awaiting an incoming call while someone else was on the phone was out of luck! There were NO other calls coming through unless it was an emergency at which time the operator had to break the line and make an announcement. If you broke through and it was NOT an emergency YOU WERE IN BIG TROUBLE!! Anyone remember that?

How about the cell phone in a bag, who had one? (raises hand)

Oh oh, wait ... what about where text codes originated?

WHO HAD A PAGER?? (raises hand again)

There was no such thing as carrying an entire text conversation via a digital device when I was growing up. True enough, you could make contact with one (the pager) which in most cases alerted that a call needed to be made BUT that was it! Some of those codes used alerted others of a need but that's another blog entirely. People actually spoke to others on the phone and it was great! The thrill of sneaking in a call after you were supposed to be asleep to talk to friends or that special someone was awesome! Those were the days! Oh, you want to know how old I am aye? How rude! Such nosy folk!

My 47th birthday is approaching quickly! YES ... I am seasoned, vintage ...

I was born in 1970

In this day and age so many people dying around us due to health issues or homicide so I am glad to say I am not far away from 50 and look DAMN good.

Now back to the subject matter, can we get back to calling please??. I have been single for awhile, only 2 relationships within the past 8-9 years and what I have noticed nowadays in the "getting to know you process", men feel totally comfortable with holding entire conversations via text. I mean the full (sings) getting to know you, getting to know ALL about you conversations via text.

As hard as it is to verbally converse and not have any miscommunication why would you want to risk having that happen via text and possibly lose this new connection you are attempting to create? How much sense does that make? There are plenty of men my age who have converted to this lazy form of communication and they know better! It has become the norm to simply carry on via text or through social media even.

This here has become the new norm for the young and a lot of the old!

This is so damn impersonal! I mean, I get it, if you are unable to answer the phone because you are working, driving or just not in a position to talk then say that. Briefly text that much and make the phone call when you are free but to carry on an entire conversation via text is insane to me! What has happened to the art of verbal communication? Are people not able to converse in this day and age? Are the short hand conversations via text the way to go?

Overstand, verbal conversation is necessary, vital to growth and eliminates doubt. Texting can be seen as a game we play that revolves around who has the upper hand in the conversation. The one who has yet to respond leaves the other person hanging in limbo wondering "did I say something dumb"? "Did I scare them off"? "Could they possibly be out with someone else"? This could go on with a number of possibilities that a real time conversation clears up immediately. You are more likely to get the honest, unfiltered version of one another on the phone more so than a text. If you like someone have a verbal conversation with them, not text.

The possibilities of misunderstandings and miscommunication is huge when texting. How many times have your fingers hit the wrong emoji or auto-correct changed a word which totally changed the tone of your conversation? How much time did you spend apologizing and cleaning up that potential mess via text when a simple phone call could have prevented it from ever happening?

When you get that good morning/good night text or the "I'm just thinking of you" text, how does it make you feel? Puts a bright spot in your day right? Well, what if the same amount of time taken to type up and send that text was used to simply pick up the phone to say those words to you? Doesn't it feel good when you know that someone wants to give you some of their time? Being able to hear them say those words instead of reading them, to feel it is meant. This is what happens when you converse on the phone. Not only do you get to hear their voice but you are also getting some of their time. When the focus is on just the two of you that also shows they value your time as well. You can't beat that and this can only be felt with a phone call!

It is OK to text occasionally but not as the main vein of communication. That's not how I want to operate in my relationship nor will I. You digital natives will never understand the joy of simple verbal conversation. Your every day "zombie walk" with faces down in the phone as you walk, eat, even drive indicates you'll miss the simple pleasures we enjoyed in our youth. I won't entertain any man attempting to get to know me via text.

PLEASE OVERSTAND ...

TRUST the timing! Timing is EVERYTHING!!

There is NOTHING worse than an emotional crisis when you are single! Ladies, I know you will be able to relate AND some men (those who will own up to it anyways). So here we go ... you are single and have been for quite a while. You are not the happiest you could be about that status but you deal, no biggie because life goes on and you get by. You enjoy an occasional date here and there. A few text messages that turn to phone calls and you are content with that right now because truth be told you are STILL working on you, ya know? But what happens next? HE appears (or SHE for my fellas)!

IN WENDY WILLIAMS VOICE

Everything is damn near perfect from jump street (that should have been THE clue). The energy released between the two of you has created feelings that has you thinking this could be your soulmate. These are vibrations like nothing you have ever experienced or felt before. It is one of those situations where it is going so well, TOO WELL, that you want to run away, far far away and not look back. Every ounce of your being says head for the hills but that heart of yours says NO ... STAY!! Word of advice ...

So what do you do? YOU FOLLOW THE DAMN HEART!!

You will listen to the above advice the next time ... I hope!!

Anyway, before you know it you are WIDE THE FXCK OPEN!! Lets add the fact that his actions match yours, step for step, topped off with his actions backing up his words as well. There was none of that "what you think I want to hear" conversation, none of the "typical male jargon" ... not at all!

Nope, that was NOT him at all so sister girls you are falling deeper and deeper at this point. No matter how hard you pump your brakes or attempt to sashay away in those 4-5 inch heels this thing is happening. Are you afraid? Apprehensive? HELL YES but you are also excited as hell and it isn't long before the two of you are referencing and singing that good old Deborah Cox song!

This is so unreal! From common interests, astrological signs that say you are a perfect match (you both believe in what the stars have to say), spontaneous conversations that both can follow and chime in without missing a beat, both believe in alien existence to include your own part in it and both MELANIN ARROGANT & PROUD!

How did you allow yourself to be opened up so wide after only NINE days is what you ask yourself. Keep in mind, there has been no sexual activity, just an occasional kiss and hug when time permitted you to see one another which isn't too often. There has, however, been plenty of intimate moments via conversation and that's what placed you in the predicament you are in ... that damn conversation! No, they were not sexual in nature but enlightening and there is nothing sexier than a man with vocabulary who knows how to use it. The man is college educated and has substance! He is in tune with who he is, who his people are and wants to do something to propel his community positively from its current state. It is so refreshing to meet a man of this caliber living in a day and age where so many men are still in the dark on how to approach a real woman ... but THIS man, HE NAILED IT!

So why is timing everything? Well, remember how every move made seemed methodically planned and thought out up to the moment your inner, deeper voice started speaking? On more than one occasion in those 9 days, that deeper consciousness told you to "chill out" and "calm down" but because there was an overwhelmingly unusual and new vibration in your presence you ignored that warning. There were moments and comments made that you questioned in your mind ... why didn't you express them aloud young lady? Now, everything your internal warning system (discernment) attempted to shield you from you are feeling. Why didn't you leave it on the phone until after he took care of the things that has him traveling out of the area? Now, that communication that was extremely heavy has come almost to a complete halt and here you are questioning yourself about the choices you were making regarding this man. You've now extracted your emotions because this is what you've learned to do over the years of being single. Are you mad? Yes but at yourself for not being a better judge and listener of self. There could be a lot of reasons communication has come to an almost dead halt but without his explanation you'll never know. Everything in you wants to call or text what you're feeling but HERE AGAIN ...

This man is where he is, doing what he is doing and of that you are not a part. Learn how to NOT insert yourself where you have not been welcomed no matter how hard it is! Be accountable for your part in this and deal with it. Upon his return, if it is to be, have that conversation but until that time continue to do you and what you were doing before he WALTZED HIS FINE, EDUCATED ASS INTO YOUR LIFE! We love hastily moving into things, at some point the lesson learned will be taken into all areas so that this doesn't have to happen again but until then my sisters (and brothers who may relate) ...

To Tell or Not To Tell

Here's the situation ... you are out on a date and you see your friends mate out with another member of the opposite sex. You speak to assure the mate and date sees you so that there is NO confusion as to rather it was them you saw or not. Do you tell your friend or keep it to yourself?

I have been in this predicament and I will tell you, after that situation I would keep it to myself.

How about YES they are still together 18 plus years later but I feel she and I are not close anymore as a result of this. Of course he denied it was him so there I was looking like a fool when she chose to stay.

I felt like I ruined a great friendship looking out for my friends feelings and ended up getting mine hurt in the process. So from here on out I will be selfish and keep my feelings from being hurt, salvaging my friendship and let him/her know if you see my mate out PLEASE tell me because I will act on it! Now, again I ask ...